Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Guessing Game

As many have already heard via my husbands facebook (he tells me "the public wants to know!"), at my last appointment on Monday the doctor took a guess at the gender and guessed another little boy for us.

Now, let me say, this is NOT 100% yet! I will tell you when I looked at the screen before the doctor said anything, the first thing out of my mouth was "That looks like a boy!". And it REALLY really did! Seeing as how I'm only 14 weeks I can't go by that just yet, but at my next appointment we should know for sure.

Now of course everyone knows I was guessing girl, but I just knew the universe would point it's finger and laugh at me! I'm very excited about another little boy. Punkin is going to have a little brother! The thought of two of them just melts my heart. One of the first things Austin and I did after finding out there's a good chance it's a boy is hammer out a name. We've been arguing over a boy name since we found out I was pregnant.

We had a middle name already, but we were stuck on the first name. So after Austin threw out a name that I've always loved but never thought he would go for, we settled on one and now it seems more real somehow. Things are happening! eep!

This weekend was the most miserable weekend of my pregnancy. After feeling pretty crummy Friday and Saturday, I was actually feeling a bit better on Sunday. Monday rolled around and wow. I got my ass kicked, to be perfectly blunt. From the moment I woke up, I was throwing up and just generally miserable. I made it to my doctors appointment and managed to get out of there without getting sick, but just barely. Seeing the little peanut helped take my mind off of it a bit. I spent all day in bed. Literally from about 11:30 AM until I got out of bed for work the next morning, I was in bed.

Tuesday I was feeling better, although a little fuzzy from having to rejoin the land of the living. Today I'm fully on the mend and trying to drink as much fluid as possible to make up for what I missed. Hopefully the little guy in my tummy had enough amniotic fluid to swim around still while I was sick. Poor guy was probably like, "what the heck, ma?!".

I hope everyone has a wonderful and safe thanksgiving! Kiss and hug your loved ones!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Nostalgia

So my very dear friend mentioned in a previous post was married on Friday, 11-11-11. Punkin walked down the isle and was absolutely adorable. The bride was positively stunning. Seriously. She could've been a Disney princess.

This friend I've known and loved since high school. We've been through a lot together, including petty arguments and break ups. When the relationship you have with someone spans over 10 years, memories are abundant.

At her wedding, her Dad gave a toast for her and her freshly minted husband. He called her Mom up there, and watching them both stand up there next to my friend in her beautifully flowing wedding dress, I had such a strong hit of nostalgia I wanted to cry.

I remember being a kid in their house. I remember her older brother lifting me up by the overalls and teaching me to lock my arms in my pockets to avoid a horrible wedgie. I remember her younger sister starting high school and it being SO WEIRD to see her in the halls. And now here we all were. On one side I had my very best friend from 5th grade, who got way too hot for the likes of me in middle school. On the other side, my ex boyfriend, the last real one I had before Austin. My first love, who I still cherish dearly because I learned a lot about love and even more about heart break from him, but who honestly, I don't know anymore. And her parents. Grey haired with lines around their eyes. Her Mom, more beautiful as she let the grey take over. Her Dad, the exact same as I always remembered him.

I miss when things were simple.

I miss talking about boys until all hours of the morning. Singing in chorus together and eating lunch in Coach Crowder's classroom. I miss being able to come home and do nothing and not worry about what I'm going to feed a child who doesn't eat. Or when I'm going to get around to those dishes because lord knows my husband isn't going to do it. Or what could possibly be causing the cough my child has been carrying around for 3 months now.

I miss not having adult responsibilities. We're all so grown up now. Getting married and having babies. Getting a real job and struggling to pay bills. It makes me sad. But then I remember that towards the end there, high school was kind of horrible. I hated everyone. I never want to go back there and you can bet I will not be attending my 10 year reunion. Everyone I care to see, I still keep in contact with.

So when I think about it, I guess being grown up isn't so bad. My ex taught me some about love, by my husband taught me the rest and filled in the gaps. My child taught me more about unconditional love than any being ever could, I think. Having a grown up job sucks, but I've met some of the most caring, funny and smart people working here. Struggling to pay bills is still pretty awful. I don't have anything nice to say about bills.

So I'll take the grown up life, but I'm glad I have those memories with her. When you know and are friends with someone for that long, they help shape who you are as a person. I am so glad she asked me to be a part of her wedding.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Almost Done

With first tri! 12 weeks tomorrow!

I'm hoping that with the emergence of first tri, the retreat of certain symptoms will occur. For example, this horrible skin I've got going on. I've always had generally pretty decent skin, but wow. It's like every day there's a new pimple and every day I scream in outrage at the mirror. Anyone have any suggestions for a good face wash that doesn't contain salicylic acid? I'm using cheap clean and clear right now and it doesn't help AT ALL.

I'm going to go ahead and throw out into the universe that I think I'm having a girl. Maybe because this pregnancy feels so different from my first. Maybe because I'm buying into old wives tales that say if the baby steals my beauty it's a girl (I didn't have much to spare, but the horrible skin, thinning hair, and preggo fat face are not helping my cause). I don't know. But when I first realized I was pregnant, I was saying she immediately, and I have to catch myself at it now.

Of course, I'm sure this means it's a boy. Just because the universe wants to point it's finger and laugh.

I mentioned before that I'm a lot more emotional than I was with Punkin, and man is it still true. We just had a United Way presentation at work, and when the presenter was talking about Children's Home Society and how they helped a 2 and 4 year old that were removed from a home and were malnourished I was fighting tears. I can't take bad things happening to kids.

Also, and I thought this would be the total opposite, but I feel like I'm more paranoid during this pregnancy. Maybe it's because I have a child and I know what's a stake, or I've been through it and I know what can go wrong, but I'm terrified of something not going just right. I'm terrified I'll go to the doctor and get my ultrasound and they're going to go silent and studious searching the picture for something I can't see. Maybe it's because my hormones are crazy this time.

I'm in the wedding of a very dear friend of mine this weekend, and I'm looking forward to spending time with her and getting my mind off of things. Punkin is in the wedding as well, and I'm crossing my fingers he makes it down the isle without incident!

Punky is just getting so big so fast. He's talking more every day and though a lot of it is his own special language, he's definitely saying something. He NEVER isn't babbling about something. He's a bit like his Dad in that way. This gives me hope that he'll get Austin's outgoing personality. Austin never meets a stranger, and I love that about him.

He's still going through that stage of wanting to assert his independence. AKA being a giant brat sometimes. He especially loves to torture the dog, which is not okay but is also kind of cute. He LOVES his puppy. He calls for her in the mornings and always wants to give her hugs and kisses. He hits her with his toys, and we always get on to him and put him in time out for it, but I really just think he wants to play with her. He sees Austin rough house with her (I mean like, on the ground rolling around wrestling with her) and he wants to do the same but doesn't really know how. I think that's our biggest issue with him right now.

Another issue is his eating. He never wants to eat what we give him. Unless it's fresh fruit (which he gets with breakfast every morning and sometimes lunch) he pretty much doesn't want it. The only other thing he'll eat consistently is Macaroni and Cheese. I still can't get him to eat meat at all. Not even with ketchup. I thought I could mask the taste or texture or whatever he doesn't like...not so much.

He eats a lot of the same things every day because it's what we know he'll eat, but I feel like that can't be good for him. We're lucky that he'll usually eat some veggies here and there, but even then he only really likes green beans and sweet peas. So we're still struggling with that right now.

I mentioned earlier that Punkin is going to be in my friends wedding this weekend..he's not going to be the ring bearer, but he's going to go down the isle right before the bride with a sign on his back that says "Here Comes the Bride". My friend borrowed a baby tux for me and here is a totally adorable picture of Punky when we tried it on him this weekend:
As you can see he was none-too-please about putting it on, but he ran around a few minutes after this shaking a tambourine just as happy as can be. Isn't he a handsome little man?!