Sanity

I am happy to report I'm feeling much more sane and much less stabby. We're beginning to fall in to a routine. Baby girl still has her moments, but she is sleeping MUCH better at night. Most nights she only wakes up twice to eat and has gone as long as 6 hours at a time. I'm still up and down with her so I'm still tired, but it's much better than being up every hour and a half and spending 4 hours with a screaming baby trying to get her to sleep.

Of course as soon as we start getting a routine down, I'm due to go back to work next week. So that's sure to mess it all up. Luckily I'm going back part time so hopefully it's not quite as stressful as it was when I had to go back with Punkin. Not to mention I had to go back in the middle of tax season with him so I was thrown to the wolves immediately.

Baby girl will be 6 weeks on Friday and she's getting so big. She's smiling at us, which makes all of the sleepless nights worth it. The first time I went to nurse her and she looked up at me with her big, gummy grin I almost died from cute.

Cloth diapering a new born is both easier and more frustrating and I imagined. I was really kind of scared of the prefolds, but they're super easy and we've never had a leak using a prefold and a cover. However, she's already outgrowing them so it's getting harder and harder to fold them just right so that they fit snugly around her legs so we don't have poop leaking out. I'm dying to get her in the one size diapers, but she's still too small and I only have a handful that fit her right now. I like to use those when we're out since they have a moisture wicking layer that keeps her skin dry in case she has to be in the diaper longer.

One thing that has really been a life saver around here is the swing. Punkin never really took to the swing and he only ever fell asleep in it a hand full of times. Baby girl has gotten to where that's where she takes her morning naps. Last night I was having trouble getting her back to sleep after she woke up to nurse, so after holding her and holding her and lots of butt patting and back rubbing I finally gave up and put her in the swing. Twenty minutes later she was out and I was able to move her back in to the bedroom where she slept for another three hours. I should send fisher price a muffin basket or something for saving my sanity.

Punkin is typically trying to get our attention by acting out some. He loves his baby sister and he always wants to hold her and giver her kisses, but he does not love all the attention she gets. He's been a bit more whiny than usual and he likes to test boundaries. He's usually in time out once or twice a day for something or other. When I can tell he's getting a bit restless I'll ask if he wants to go play in his room for a while, and he's gotten to where he loves this suggestion. Probably because he can be as destructive as he wants, and I honestly don't mind. I figure it's his room and his toys and we're constantly on him about messing the rest of the house so I'm okay with him having his own space to do what he wants.

So for now things are going well. I'm preparing myself for the dreaded 6 week growth spurt, which may or may not call for a very fussy baby. Hopefully we make it through in one piece!

Adjustment Period

I said I'd update when I was feeling human again. Honestly, I'm not quite there yet. But I thought I'd take a stab at all this anyway.

Baby girl has made her grand entrance into our lives. Punkin is taking well to being a big brother, and loves to hold his baby sister whenever he can. She was 7lbs 9 oz and though this is not tiny, she seemed that way to us. She's put on some weight since then so she doesn't seem so itty bitty, but she's still very petite. Punkin was a tank from the moment he was born, so it's fun to see her little girl features.

I really wish I could write a post raving about how amazing it is to have a new baby and how we're all puppies and rainbows over here, but I can't. It's been hard. There have been tears shed by all parties involved in up-all-nighters (by all parties, I mean me and baby girl). Nursing was not easy to begin with, and although it's gotten much easier, her latch is still wrong and I don't know how to fix it. I suspect she has reflux. She gags and coughs randomly and has been spitting up/projectile vomiting with increased frequency. Sometimes after feedings (not all of them mind you, just some) she'll cry and cry no matter what you do or how you hold her. She doesn't cry during feedings, only after. This is when I want to pull my hair out. It'll take me hours sometimes to get her to calm down and go to sleep. It's only made worse by the fact that she's tired. So she gets over tired and then just plain won't sleep. Sigh. It's a vicious cycle.

I guess I was just really spoiled by Punkin. He was such an easy baby. As long as he was swaddled up tight and had a full belly he was good to go. He would wake up every three hours at night to nurse and then he'd go right back to sleep without a problem. I didn't think this baby would be the same. In fact I joked that I didn't want to have another one because Punkin was SO good, there was no way I'd get another one like that.

I'm grateful to have maternity leave, but to be honest I'm feeling a little lost. It's a lot, I guess. Being a wife and mom of 2 now and still working from home. Having both kids home right now is like a prison. I have an extra appendage in a baby who never wants to be put down and constant headaches from trying my hardest not to lose it with my toddler who is doing what he's always done, but now I suddenly can't deal.

I'm well aware that this post makes me look like a horrible mom, but it is what it is I guess. I love both my babies and would gladly lay down my life for them, but right now we're all in an adjustment period and all I can do is hope it goes by quickly.

Despite all the stress, they still make my Momma heart warm.