Yesterday when I went to pick Punkin up from school, I was rushed at the door by a lady who I did not recognize.
"Before he sees you, he swallowed one of those little arts and crafts pompoms and he's pretty upset. He threw up and he's crying."
"Um, are you the nurse?"
"Yes I'm [name unintelligible because she was rushing]. He seems okay, but I'm afraid to give him anything to drink. I don't want it to move in to his airway. But he's breathing and talking fine."
I went to find Punkin in the bathroom with his teacher and as soon as he saw me, he started bawling.
"I (breath) swallowed (breath) uh (breath) POMPOM!"
He was so upset. He kept saying it was in his throat and he was coughing like he was going to vomit again. I wrapped my arms around him and let him cry and told him we would call the doctor and that he would be fine. I snagged one of the pompoms for reference and started to get his things to leave. His teach sidled over to me when he wasn't looking and said "He asked me if he was going to choke and die. I wanted you to know that." The nurse stood next to her nodding her head solemnly.
My heart skipped a beat. Awesome. Now his teacher thinks I'm exposing my child to morbid information about death and how he's going to die one day. I tried to laugh it off.
"Oh. Uh, ha ha. Um, yeah when I tell him not to put things in his mouth and he asks why, I tell him he could choke."
Which is true. He and Skeeter both like to play a fun game of "Let's See How Many LEGO We Can Fit In Our Mouths!". So when I tell him not to do that and he asks why I say because you could choke and he says "and die?" and I say maybe.
So now of course, I feel terrible about even entertaining the idea. But honestly, I feel like he needs to know how seriously hurt he could get. So on this day, when he had this traumatic experience, I told him "This is why I tell you not to put LEGO in your mouth".
"Because I could choke and die?"
"No, you're not going to die" (because I felt awful that he thought he was going to die)
"So....I'm just going to keep choking?"
"Well...um...no..."
I had no idea what to even say. Punkin saw a dead squirrel with Austin one time, and Austin tried to explain to him that the squirrel wasn't going to wake up because it died. I could tell after they came inside and had that talk, Punkin was having this internal struggle of trying to figure out what it meant to never wake up. Maybe he was too young to explain it and have him understand. I guess I just feel like this is the circle of life and there shouldn't be anything scary about that. Of course I don't want him to think he could die at any moment. But I also want him to know that life is precious. And that some times we lose people we love and that's just the nature of living and that living is so wonderful. So I don't want to shield death.
Being a parent is hard. I'm certain most days that everything I'm doing is wrong. Maybe this is wrong, too. All we can do is follow our gut.
But to the pressing matter at hand, Punkin is fine and he's rather looking forward to the prospect of pooping out the pompom.
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Thankful
I am thankful for all of the things I should be thankful for. Healthy kids, an awesome husband, friends, family and food. All of these things bring meaning to my life and have shaped me in to the person I am (yep, even food). It's easy to focus on the negative in life, but there is so much positive here that I really have no excuse.
In addition to these blessings, here are some other things I'm thankful for that I honestly could not live life without:
1. Plastic Mattress Covers - If not for the ingenious invention of the plastic mattress cover, my 4 year would have gone through 4 or 5 mattresses by now, I'm sure. Potty training is the worst, but night time training, for us, has been even more of a struggle. Plastic mattress cover and I are BFF.
2. My Shark Vacuum Cleaner - Because y'all. It can suck up the massive amounts of dog hair that my dog leaves behind every time she, you know, breathes. But it can also suck up pieces of sidewalk chalk and vacuums my hard floors without kicking little pieces of dirt shrapnel at me.
3. Magic the Gathering - I love my husband. Like, a lot. But sometimes when he goes to play Magic on Sundays, I can put the kids down for a nap and then crawl in bed and watch Gilmore Girls and eat pie and no one is there to judge me. It's fantastic.
4. Harry Potter - Because it feels like home every time I crack one of those books open.
5. Leap Pads - With the added benefit of all of the educational games that my kids have definitely benefited from, they keep them quiet in moments where I just really need some quiet. Basically they keep me from locking myself in a closet and hiding under the pile of shoes I never wear but can't get rid of.
6. My iPhone - Because sometimes I need to Facebook and watch Hell's Kitchen at the same time, you know?
7. VPK - Since Punkin has started VPK, he falls asleep like a champ at night. No more in and out of bed. No more asking for glasses of water he doesn't need (see item 1). He's in bed by eight and most nights he's out and snoring by 8:15. It's glorious.
8. Fresh Fruit - Because on nights when all I can muster after working all day and getting home at 6 is a PB&J (to the delight of my children), fresh fruit at least makes me feel like I'm offering something with some sort of health benefit without having to expend any extra energy.
9. 5:00 PM - amirite?
10. Weekends - During the week I really only get to see my kids maybe 3 or 4 hours a day before I go to work and before they go to bed and my husband maybe an hour or two longer. The weekends are my time to actually be able to get in some quality time with my family, even if we stay home doing laundry all weekend. Livin' for the weekend, baby.
In addition to these blessings, here are some other things I'm thankful for that I honestly could not live life without:
1. Plastic Mattress Covers - If not for the ingenious invention of the plastic mattress cover, my 4 year would have gone through 4 or 5 mattresses by now, I'm sure. Potty training is the worst, but night time training, for us, has been even more of a struggle. Plastic mattress cover and I are BFF.
2. My Shark Vacuum Cleaner - Because y'all. It can suck up the massive amounts of dog hair that my dog leaves behind every time she, you know, breathes. But it can also suck up pieces of sidewalk chalk and vacuums my hard floors without kicking little pieces of dirt shrapnel at me.
3. Magic the Gathering - I love my husband. Like, a lot. But sometimes when he goes to play Magic on Sundays, I can put the kids down for a nap and then crawl in bed and watch Gilmore Girls and eat pie and no one is there to judge me. It's fantastic.
4. Harry Potter - Because it feels like home every time I crack one of those books open.
5. Leap Pads - With the added benefit of all of the educational games that my kids have definitely benefited from, they keep them quiet in moments where I just really need some quiet. Basically they keep me from locking myself in a closet and hiding under the pile of shoes I never wear but can't get rid of.
6. My iPhone - Because sometimes I need to Facebook and watch Hell's Kitchen at the same time, you know?
7. VPK - Since Punkin has started VPK, he falls asleep like a champ at night. No more in and out of bed. No more asking for glasses of water he doesn't need (see item 1). He's in bed by eight and most nights he's out and snoring by 8:15. It's glorious.
8. Fresh Fruit - Because on nights when all I can muster after working all day and getting home at 6 is a PB&J (to the delight of my children), fresh fruit at least makes me feel like I'm offering something with some sort of health benefit without having to expend any extra energy.
9. 5:00 PM - amirite?
10. Weekends - During the week I really only get to see my kids maybe 3 or 4 hours a day before I go to work and before they go to bed and my husband maybe an hour or two longer. The weekends are my time to actually be able to get in some quality time with my family, even if we stay home doing laundry all weekend. Livin' for the weekend, baby.
Friday, January 31, 2014
Lessons in Motherhood
When Punkin was a baby, I heard all the time about what amazing patience I had. I was in that new motherhood phase of thinking things were going to go exactly how I wanted them to. I was going to raise him this way and discipline that way and only organic food all the time ever! In my defense, Punkin was an amazingly good baby, so it's just as much his fault as it is mine (joking!).
But then something happened. Something called "toddler" came over my child and I'm afraid my patience was worn very thin. Especially with the addition of a little sister to hit and push and steal toys from.
One day, when I picked Punkin up from school after an especially frustrating day in the office, he sat in the back seat playing with his Leap Pad while I drove thinking about dinner and jammies and bed time. Punkin has a new found love of recording himself and then playing it back so he can hear it. His Leap Pad has one such game. So he's sitting in the back seat recording himself screaming. This awful, deep, incredibly loud scream. After telling him three times to please stop screaming, I lost it. I yelled as loud as I could so he could hear me over his screaming "STOP SCREAMING!!!".
"Sorry.", was all he could meekly say. I felt immediately relieved that he stopped. Happy with myself even, that I made him listen to me.
Then I realized, he recorded that whole exchange. Pretty soon the sound of myself screaming at my child was being played back to me over and over and over again from the back seat. Me yelling and him saying "Sorry.".
Needless to say, I felt so bad. I sounded out of control and scary. To myself. What did I sound like to a 3 year old?
This was a lesson I needed. It's so easy to just snap. It's so easy to take the easy way out and throw a temper tantrum just like Punkin would. It's hard to keep your cool.
So, I make the extra effort to understand why he's upset. Most of the time, if I get down on his level and speak to him about why he's feeling the way he's feeling, I avoid a fit. One time he was upset about something or other, and I sat down on the floor of his bedroom and just talked to him.
"What are you feeling right now?"
"Sad."
That was all it took to start the conversation. He told me why he was upset, I offered a solution and told him it was okay to be sad. At the end of it, he gave me a hug and said "Thank you for making me feel better, Momma." and I wanted to cry. Why couldn't I do that all the time? How hard was that, really? I had my shining motherhood moments, but lately it seemed like I was losing my cool more than I was offering solutions.
So, I make the extra effort as often as I can. Sometimes it doesn't work and I have to put him in time out or take away a toy. But most of the time, it does. When he cries, we take deep breaths together (something Austin actually discovered), and when he's upset, we talk about our feelings.
It's important to remember that while it's our duty to teach our kids, they end up teaching us as well.
But then something happened. Something called "toddler" came over my child and I'm afraid my patience was worn very thin. Especially with the addition of a little sister to hit and push and steal toys from.
One day, when I picked Punkin up from school after an especially frustrating day in the office, he sat in the back seat playing with his Leap Pad while I drove thinking about dinner and jammies and bed time. Punkin has a new found love of recording himself and then playing it back so he can hear it. His Leap Pad has one such game. So he's sitting in the back seat recording himself screaming. This awful, deep, incredibly loud scream. After telling him three times to please stop screaming, I lost it. I yelled as loud as I could so he could hear me over his screaming "STOP SCREAMING!!!".
"Sorry.", was all he could meekly say. I felt immediately relieved that he stopped. Happy with myself even, that I made him listen to me.
Then I realized, he recorded that whole exchange. Pretty soon the sound of myself screaming at my child was being played back to me over and over and over again from the back seat. Me yelling and him saying "Sorry.".
Needless to say, I felt so bad. I sounded out of control and scary. To myself. What did I sound like to a 3 year old?
This was a lesson I needed. It's so easy to just snap. It's so easy to take the easy way out and throw a temper tantrum just like Punkin would. It's hard to keep your cool.
So, I make the extra effort to understand why he's upset. Most of the time, if I get down on his level and speak to him about why he's feeling the way he's feeling, I avoid a fit. One time he was upset about something or other, and I sat down on the floor of his bedroom and just talked to him.
"What are you feeling right now?"
"Sad."
That was all it took to start the conversation. He told me why he was upset, I offered a solution and told him it was okay to be sad. At the end of it, he gave me a hug and said "Thank you for making me feel better, Momma." and I wanted to cry. Why couldn't I do that all the time? How hard was that, really? I had my shining motherhood moments, but lately it seemed like I was losing my cool more than I was offering solutions.
So, I make the extra effort as often as I can. Sometimes it doesn't work and I have to put him in time out or take away a toy. But most of the time, it does. When he cries, we take deep breaths together (something Austin actually discovered), and when he's upset, we talk about our feelings.
It's important to remember that while it's our duty to teach our kids, they end up teaching us as well.
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Confession
I'm about to confess something here that I haven't confessed to many people. Mostly because I think, as we all do, I tend to judge myself harshly as a mother and I'm forever comparing myself to what other moms are doing. Because, you know...they're probably doing it better.
I was brushing Punkin's teeth one night when I noticed one of his teeth looked kind of off. There was no hole or spot, it just looked a little...different. I don't know about you, but when I get an idea in my head, be it that Austin has wrecked on the side of the road or that Punkin has a mouth full of cavities, I obsess over it. So first thing the next morning I called the pediatric dentist and set up an appointment for Punkin, which wouldn't happen for a couple of months because they're SO busy all the time.
It turns out my obsession this time was well called for. He had 4 cavities, and one tooth that looked suspicious. I wanted to die right there in that little room with the kid sized chair and the overly smiling hygienist. Her smile flickered ever so slightly when she saw my face and every employee I came across after that (the dentist, the billing lady, the receptionist) was sure to tell me how sometimes these things happen and they get kids in there all the time who need crowns and roots canals, so it was good that we caught it early. I just kept saying "I swear I brush his teeth".
I got in the car and cried. I felt like the worst mother in the history of ever. I mean really? Five cavities? At 3 years old? How does that even happen?!
So I had to really stop lying to myself and take a look at the fact that yes, there were some nights I simply forgot and figured it wasn't a big deal. There were some nights he may have had a gummy or piece of candy after brushing his teeth for going poop in the potty. I never flossed his teeth. Ever. For some reason in my brain, I didn't even really think it was possible for a kid to have this kind of damage at his age.
I never had a cavity until I was in my 20's. Austin on the other hand, not so much. His first root canal was in elementary school and his teeth get cavities like squirrels collects nuts. Apparently that's genetic, and apparently Punkin has his Daddy's teeth.
Today we went in for the second and what I thought was the last round of fillings. Turns out when they were working on him there was yet ANOTHER cavity next to an existing cavity where the rotten apple apparently was on it's way to spoiling the bunch. I wanted to throw my purse down and stamp my feet at the dentist.
"But I brush his teeth EVERY DAY! With a special ELECTRIC toothbrush we bought! AND we floss whether HE LIKES IT OR NOT! AND HE EFFING HATES IT!"
The dentist went on to explain that bacteria are like bugs in people. Some people have bigger bugs than others. Punkin apparently has some very big bugs in his mouth and there's not much I can do about it except for watch his sugar intake in snacks and juice and be diligent about oral hygiene.
The moral of the story is, I suck and my kid's mouth is going to cost me a fortune.
(For all of you who say dental insurance is a crock I LAUGH in your face. Between Punkin and Austin, it's saving me all kinds of money!)
I was brushing Punkin's teeth one night when I noticed one of his teeth looked kind of off. There was no hole or spot, it just looked a little...different. I don't know about you, but when I get an idea in my head, be it that Austin has wrecked on the side of the road or that Punkin has a mouth full of cavities, I obsess over it. So first thing the next morning I called the pediatric dentist and set up an appointment for Punkin, which wouldn't happen for a couple of months because they're SO busy all the time.
It turns out my obsession this time was well called for. He had 4 cavities, and one tooth that looked suspicious. I wanted to die right there in that little room with the kid sized chair and the overly smiling hygienist. Her smile flickered ever so slightly when she saw my face and every employee I came across after that (the dentist, the billing lady, the receptionist) was sure to tell me how sometimes these things happen and they get kids in there all the time who need crowns and roots canals, so it was good that we caught it early. I just kept saying "I swear I brush his teeth".
I got in the car and cried. I felt like the worst mother in the history of ever. I mean really? Five cavities? At 3 years old? How does that even happen?!
So I had to really stop lying to myself and take a look at the fact that yes, there were some nights I simply forgot and figured it wasn't a big deal. There were some nights he may have had a gummy or piece of candy after brushing his teeth for going poop in the potty. I never flossed his teeth. Ever. For some reason in my brain, I didn't even really think it was possible for a kid to have this kind of damage at his age.
I never had a cavity until I was in my 20's. Austin on the other hand, not so much. His first root canal was in elementary school and his teeth get cavities like squirrels collects nuts. Apparently that's genetic, and apparently Punkin has his Daddy's teeth.
Today we went in for the second and what I thought was the last round of fillings. Turns out when they were working on him there was yet ANOTHER cavity next to an existing cavity where the rotten apple apparently was on it's way to spoiling the bunch. I wanted to throw my purse down and stamp my feet at the dentist.
"But I brush his teeth EVERY DAY! With a special ELECTRIC toothbrush we bought! AND we floss whether HE LIKES IT OR NOT! AND HE EFFING HATES IT!"
The dentist went on to explain that bacteria are like bugs in people. Some people have bigger bugs than others. Punkin apparently has some very big bugs in his mouth and there's not much I can do about it except for watch his sugar intake in snacks and juice and be diligent about oral hygiene.
The moral of the story is, I suck and my kid's mouth is going to cost me a fortune.
(For all of you who say dental insurance is a crock I LAUGH in your face. Between Punkin and Austin, it's saving me all kinds of money!)
My sweet boy at the dentist. He's such a trooper.
Friday, December 6, 2013
This Year
Is it just me, or does time go so much faster when you have kids?
I can't believe another year has come and gone. It doesn't seem like very long ago that we were celebrating Skeeter's first Christmas, and now we're creeping up to her second and Punkin's fourth!
This year Skeeter has learned to walk, talk, run, play and love her baby dolls. Punkin has learned how to argue and the pros and cons of having a little sister (pro: someone to play with, con: attention stealing demon baby).
Punkin is getting so much closer to four and I can't believe he's so big. He's like a little person now. Potty training is still a work in progress if you can believe it. He's super at going pee during the day and he's even pooping in the potty regularly now, we're just dealing with a couple of accidents here and there and he's no where near ready for night time training. Honestly, as long as he's pooping in the potty, I'm down.
Skeeter is learning new things every day. She loves taking care of her baby dolls. Feeding them and putting them to bed is her favorite game. She gives them hugs and kisses and gives them a bottle. It's so sweet. Don't get me wrong, she can show an attitude really quick if she feels the occasion calls for it. But overall, she's such a sweet baby and we can't get enough of her.
I like to think overall, this has been a year of growth. Austin and I have had some moments of realization about life and we've tried to grow from them. We've been helped immeasurably by friends and family, especially since one of our cars was totaled when Austin was hit by a drunk driver in October (he's fine, thank goodness). It shed a whole new light on thankfulness and a good lesson of not taking things for granted. I hope we can carry that with us when times of feeling sorry for ourselves pop up, as they tend to do.
I hope everyone's year was as good as mine, and I hope in the new year I can tend to this little blog more often, no matter how few people read it.
I can't believe another year has come and gone. It doesn't seem like very long ago that we were celebrating Skeeter's first Christmas, and now we're creeping up to her second and Punkin's fourth!
This year Skeeter has learned to walk, talk, run, play and love her baby dolls. Punkin has learned how to argue and the pros and cons of having a little sister (pro: someone to play with, con: attention stealing demon baby).
Punkin is getting so much closer to four and I can't believe he's so big. He's like a little person now. Potty training is still a work in progress if you can believe it. He's super at going pee during the day and he's even pooping in the potty regularly now, we're just dealing with a couple of accidents here and there and he's no where near ready for night time training. Honestly, as long as he's pooping in the potty, I'm down.
Skeeter is learning new things every day. She loves taking care of her baby dolls. Feeding them and putting them to bed is her favorite game. She gives them hugs and kisses and gives them a bottle. It's so sweet. Don't get me wrong, she can show an attitude really quick if she feels the occasion calls for it. But overall, she's such a sweet baby and we can't get enough of her.
I like to think overall, this has been a year of growth. Austin and I have had some moments of realization about life and we've tried to grow from them. We've been helped immeasurably by friends and family, especially since one of our cars was totaled when Austin was hit by a drunk driver in October (he's fine, thank goodness). It shed a whole new light on thankfulness and a good lesson of not taking things for granted. I hope we can carry that with us when times of feeling sorry for ourselves pop up, as they tend to do.
I hope everyone's year was as good as mine, and I hope in the new year I can tend to this little blog more often, no matter how few people read it.
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
I Do Exist!
Hello! This blog is still here! I'm still here! Promise!
I guess I got so busy with tax season (like, really busy) I neglected the blog, and then after tax season I kind of felt like I had nothing to offer. But now I'm back with just maybe a little bit of news to share.
We just moved in to a new house and wow. It's so nice to have our own space again. It's a bigger place than we've ever had and it really feels like we can breathe and spread out which is always nice. It's pretty in the middle of nowhere for us since we're so used to living on one side of town, but there are lots of frogs and other critters (even gators sometimes apparently? yikes!) to keep us company.
Skeeter is a year old and ugh she's so huge. She's walking all over the place and saying a few words. She loves to eat (and how dare you if you're eating something...anything...and you don't share with her) and she loves her Bubba and Pooh Bear. She's such a sweet baby. She's very quiet most of the time and so well behaved when we're out. We just love her to bits.
I've shared this here before, but I never wanted a girl. Because I'm a girl and I remember what it's like to be a girl and I just didn't want to have to deal with a child going through what I went through. But having a girl is so fun. Having a boy is pretty special, but having a girl is pretty special in a different way I think.
Punkin is growing up too. It's amazing to me sometimes when we're having a conversation that he can actually sit and have that conversation with me. He can tell me about his day and about what he likes and especially about what he doesn't like. It's a fun trip in to his brain.
I'm in school for early childhood education and it's going great so far. I'm really enjoying learning about how my kid works. I don't know that I'll ever really pursue a career in early childhood education, but learning about it is so much fun. It's nice to have something for me.
Austin is traveling like a crazy person with no kids for his comedy. He's gone three weekends in a row in August and I'm already dreading it. I'm proud of him for relentlessly pursuing his passion and making things happen for himself. He's getting paid to do what he loves, so I can't complain too much!
And now here is a lovely picture of my almost grown babies.
I guess I got so busy with tax season (like, really busy) I neglected the blog, and then after tax season I kind of felt like I had nothing to offer. But now I'm back with just maybe a little bit of news to share.
We just moved in to a new house and wow. It's so nice to have our own space again. It's a bigger place than we've ever had and it really feels like we can breathe and spread out which is always nice. It's pretty in the middle of nowhere for us since we're so used to living on one side of town, but there are lots of frogs and other critters (even gators sometimes apparently? yikes!) to keep us company.
Skeeter is a year old and ugh she's so huge. She's walking all over the place and saying a few words. She loves to eat (and how dare you if you're eating something...anything...and you don't share with her) and she loves her Bubba and Pooh Bear. She's such a sweet baby. She's very quiet most of the time and so well behaved when we're out. We just love her to bits.
I've shared this here before, but I never wanted a girl. Because I'm a girl and I remember what it's like to be a girl and I just didn't want to have to deal with a child going through what I went through. But having a girl is so fun. Having a boy is pretty special, but having a girl is pretty special in a different way I think.
Punkin is growing up too. It's amazing to me sometimes when we're having a conversation that he can actually sit and have that conversation with me. He can tell me about his day and about what he likes and especially about what he doesn't like. It's a fun trip in to his brain.
I'm in school for early childhood education and it's going great so far. I'm really enjoying learning about how my kid works. I don't know that I'll ever really pursue a career in early childhood education, but learning about it is so much fun. It's nice to have something for me.
Austin is traveling like a crazy person with no kids for his comedy. He's gone three weekends in a row in August and I'm already dreading it. I'm proud of him for relentlessly pursuing his passion and making things happen for himself. He's getting paid to do what he loves, so I can't complain too much!
And now here is a lovely picture of my almost grown babies.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Come Back Kid
Hi! I'm still here!
This tax season has been so unbelievably busy. Just ask my very disgruntled husband. I went back to full time in February and since then I've been working nights and weekends whenever I feel like I need to catch up. Which has been often. It's exhausting and I think I've been sick for a month straight now. Between working nights and Skeeter still getting up in the middle of the night to nurse (torture!) my body is protesting.
Punkin turned 3 at the beginning of the month and to celebrate we took the kids to Disney. It was amazing. Punkin had a fantastic time and we had a fantastic time watching him. Skeeter was an absolute doll and besides having to make a quick trip to urgent care for an eye infection, everything went great!
They're both getting so big. Punkin is growing by leaps and bounds. He speaks like a little person now and the terrible three's are upon us! We're still working on potty training, but so far we're at a stalemate. He'll pee in the potty when he feels like it, otherwise he'll just pee in his pants if he's too busy. Don't even think about poop. He absolutely refuses to poop in the potty.
Skeeter is almost a year old! 2 more months and my baby will be a toddler! I can't even believe it. She's so very close to walking. She can stand on her own and it's like you can see the wheels turning in her brain to make herself take a step, but she ends up just falling to her butt. Soon! She's also saying words all over the place: Mama, Dada, Bubba (for Punkin), num num, banana, paw paw, night night...it's like she's picking up a new one every day. She'll be as big as her brother pretty soon, and her brother will be starting kindergarten. Where does the time go?
Austin and I are, of course, getting lost in the children and the general every day mess that is life. It's hard for us to get out at the same time, so I'm really trying to have just us dates at least once a week on the weekends. It's hard to make it happen, but I feel like it's getting more and more important for us to just be us together instead of parents and employees all the time.
Tax season ends April 15th, so I probably won't write again until after then! Here's hoping I survive!
This tax season has been so unbelievably busy. Just ask my very disgruntled husband. I went back to full time in February and since then I've been working nights and weekends whenever I feel like I need to catch up. Which has been often. It's exhausting and I think I've been sick for a month straight now. Between working nights and Skeeter still getting up in the middle of the night to nurse (torture!) my body is protesting.
Punkin turned 3 at the beginning of the month and to celebrate we took the kids to Disney. It was amazing. Punkin had a fantastic time and we had a fantastic time watching him. Skeeter was an absolute doll and besides having to make a quick trip to urgent care for an eye infection, everything went great!
They're both getting so big. Punkin is growing by leaps and bounds. He speaks like a little person now and the terrible three's are upon us! We're still working on potty training, but so far we're at a stalemate. He'll pee in the potty when he feels like it, otherwise he'll just pee in his pants if he's too busy. Don't even think about poop. He absolutely refuses to poop in the potty.
Skeeter is almost a year old! 2 more months and my baby will be a toddler! I can't even believe it. She's so very close to walking. She can stand on her own and it's like you can see the wheels turning in her brain to make herself take a step, but she ends up just falling to her butt. Soon! She's also saying words all over the place: Mama, Dada, Bubba (for Punkin), num num, banana, paw paw, night night...it's like she's picking up a new one every day. She'll be as big as her brother pretty soon, and her brother will be starting kindergarten. Where does the time go?
Austin and I are, of course, getting lost in the children and the general every day mess that is life. It's hard for us to get out at the same time, so I'm really trying to have just us dates at least once a week on the weekends. It's hard to make it happen, but I feel like it's getting more and more important for us to just be us together instead of parents and employees all the time.
Tax season ends April 15th, so I probably won't write again until after then! Here's hoping I survive!
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Around
That's me. I've been around. I guess I can't complain that I haven't had anything interesting to write about.
Punk is doing very well in preschool. He still cries a bit in the morning when I drop him off if his teacher isn't there yet (he loves his teacher!). But he's always happy and playing when I pick him up. I can definitely see an improvement in his speech, both in the words he's saying and in his comprehension. Tuesday he was telling me how he rode the bicycle at playtime and how he learned all about dinosaurs in class. He was even telling me about how his friend Josh cried during breakfast. It was nice to be able to have a conversation about his day.
He's so very close to three now, and I can definitely feel it. His favorite game is pushing Momma and Daddy's buttons until we get all red faced and huffy. He loves it. It's been difficult navigating boundaries for him. Time-outs don't seem to work very well. I'm not a big fan of spanking, but he has been popped on the bottom on occasion and that doesn't seem to have much of an effect either. It's a work in progress.
Potty training seems to be at a standstill. He's great going pee pee in the potty during the day, and will usually tell us when he needs to go when we're out. He has a habit of holding it for a REALLY long time to avoid the potty, so we have to really stay on top of him or he'll have an accident before we can get him to the bathroom. He still won't poop in the potty at all. I'm kind of stumped on that one. I don't want to force it but man it would be nice if we could get him to do that. He's also still in a diaper at nap time and at bed time and usually wakes up really wet so I don't think he's even close to losing the diaper completely.
Skeeter is getting so very big. She's 8 months old now and babbling away. She says Ma, Da, Buh, Nuh and some other random gibberish. I hesitate to say it, but I really think she's starting to recognize Austin and I with "Mama" and "Dada". We call Punk Bubba. I also think she says "nuh" when she wants to eat sometimes. We refer to food as num num with Punk. I don't know why and I went through a period of trying to stop saying it because it's kind of obnoxious, but it stuck. So I always ask if she wants some num num and I think that's where she gets nuh from. Or it's my imagination. Who knows.
She has her two bottom teeth (which are ridiculously sharp...trust me) and I think she's working on more. She's crawling every where and pulling up and cruising. She's into EVERYTHING and has gotten to where she runs (crawls really fast) when she hears me coming up behind her. She knows I'm there to spoil her fun. She's a love and a joy and she and her brother are the prettiest babies in existence. Yes, I'm bias. No, I don't care.
I start back full time at work at the beginning of next month and I'm dreading it, but I'm looking forward to full paychecks again. Say a tax season prayer for me! It'll probably be another month before I update!
Punk is doing very well in preschool. He still cries a bit in the morning when I drop him off if his teacher isn't there yet (he loves his teacher!). But he's always happy and playing when I pick him up. I can definitely see an improvement in his speech, both in the words he's saying and in his comprehension. Tuesday he was telling me how he rode the bicycle at playtime and how he learned all about dinosaurs in class. He was even telling me about how his friend Josh cried during breakfast. It was nice to be able to have a conversation about his day.
He's so very close to three now, and I can definitely feel it. His favorite game is pushing Momma and Daddy's buttons until we get all red faced and huffy. He loves it. It's been difficult navigating boundaries for him. Time-outs don't seem to work very well. I'm not a big fan of spanking, but he has been popped on the bottom on occasion and that doesn't seem to have much of an effect either. It's a work in progress.
Potty training seems to be at a standstill. He's great going pee pee in the potty during the day, and will usually tell us when he needs to go when we're out. He has a habit of holding it for a REALLY long time to avoid the potty, so we have to really stay on top of him or he'll have an accident before we can get him to the bathroom. He still won't poop in the potty at all. I'm kind of stumped on that one. I don't want to force it but man it would be nice if we could get him to do that. He's also still in a diaper at nap time and at bed time and usually wakes up really wet so I don't think he's even close to losing the diaper completely.
Skeeter is getting so very big. She's 8 months old now and babbling away. She says Ma, Da, Buh, Nuh and some other random gibberish. I hesitate to say it, but I really think she's starting to recognize Austin and I with "Mama" and "Dada". We call Punk Bubba. I also think she says "nuh" when she wants to eat sometimes. We refer to food as num num with Punk. I don't know why and I went through a period of trying to stop saying it because it's kind of obnoxious, but it stuck. So I always ask if she wants some num num and I think that's where she gets nuh from. Or it's my imagination. Who knows.
She has her two bottom teeth (which are ridiculously sharp...trust me) and I think she's working on more. She's crawling every where and pulling up and cruising. She's into EVERYTHING and has gotten to where she runs (crawls really fast) when she hears me coming up behind her. She knows I'm there to spoil her fun. She's a love and a joy and she and her brother are the prettiest babies in existence. Yes, I'm bias. No, I don't care.
I start back full time at work at the beginning of next month and I'm dreading it, but I'm looking forward to full paychecks again. Say a tax season prayer for me! It'll probably be another month before I update!
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Grief
I have not been able to stop thinking about the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary since I first heard about it on Friday.
I wanted to write a post that day. But I knew it would be a jumbled mess of emotion and rage and terror. I told Austin what happened and he turned on the news to a scene of chaos and confusion. We watched for a few minutes, and just as I was reaching my breaking point the new caster announced "All of the 20 children killed were between 5 to 10 years old" and I lost all grip on emotion. I jumped up just as Austin was asking "How..." and choked through tears that I couldn't sit there and watch it any more. He hugged me while I cried and I fell apart.
Of course, I'm thinking about my own children and how I would cope if something like this ever happened to one of them (I wouldn't, by the way). But I'm also thinking of those children and the absolute horror they must have felt. Knowing now that they were all 6-7 year old first graders, the same age as my precious nephew, makes it all more real. My heart breaks for them, and it breaks for their parents. It breaks for the survivors and the emotional scars they'll likely carry for the rest of their lives. It breaks for that small community who now are struggling to put the pieces together and figure out how to move forward.
It breaks for the entire country. Because I think we all felt it. I think we all held our breath for just a second as our brains tried to process the hows and whys.
Now government leaders and know-it-alls on Facebook continue to discuss gun control and how this happened because God wasn't in that school (please). How only prayer will make these things stop and we need MORE guns and those kindergarten teachers should have been packing heat. But if we look beyond all of that and take a harsh realistic stance, nothing will make these things stop. They'll continue to happen. It will continue to be tragic. And every time we'll talk about gun control and God and monsters, and we'll be at the mercy of mental illness.
No matter what gun policy is put in to place, I can't help but feel like we need to start at the roots of growth. We need better funding for early intervention programs. We need more schools with behavior specialists and more resources for behavioral therapy. Parents need help, and the fact of the matter is they don't always have the funds or the resources or the time to recognize that fact.
Don't get me wrong, I'm sure no one could have predicted a tragedy on this scale. The fact that some news outlets are discussing Autism as a reason is infuriating and shows at best, a basic misunderstanding between ASD and a severe mental illness. I just wish it was possible for teachers to be trained to recognize early signs of illness and act swiftly to get the parents informed and get them help. Maybe it wouldn't help at all. But maybe it would make one less child feel different and alone to know that other kids go through it too.
Nothing can fully explain this. No one answer will ever give the parents peace. I just hope time can ease the ache in their hearts.
I wanted to write a post that day. But I knew it would be a jumbled mess of emotion and rage and terror. I told Austin what happened and he turned on the news to a scene of chaos and confusion. We watched for a few minutes, and just as I was reaching my breaking point the new caster announced "All of the 20 children killed were between 5 to 10 years old" and I lost all grip on emotion. I jumped up just as Austin was asking "How..." and choked through tears that I couldn't sit there and watch it any more. He hugged me while I cried and I fell apart.
Of course, I'm thinking about my own children and how I would cope if something like this ever happened to one of them (I wouldn't, by the way). But I'm also thinking of those children and the absolute horror they must have felt. Knowing now that they were all 6-7 year old first graders, the same age as my precious nephew, makes it all more real. My heart breaks for them, and it breaks for their parents. It breaks for the survivors and the emotional scars they'll likely carry for the rest of their lives. It breaks for that small community who now are struggling to put the pieces together and figure out how to move forward.
It breaks for the entire country. Because I think we all felt it. I think we all held our breath for just a second as our brains tried to process the hows and whys.
Now government leaders and know-it-alls on Facebook continue to discuss gun control and how this happened because God wasn't in that school (please). How only prayer will make these things stop and we need MORE guns and those kindergarten teachers should have been packing heat. But if we look beyond all of that and take a harsh realistic stance, nothing will make these things stop. They'll continue to happen. It will continue to be tragic. And every time we'll talk about gun control and God and monsters, and we'll be at the mercy of mental illness.
No matter what gun policy is put in to place, I can't help but feel like we need to start at the roots of growth. We need better funding for early intervention programs. We need more schools with behavior specialists and more resources for behavioral therapy. Parents need help, and the fact of the matter is they don't always have the funds or the resources or the time to recognize that fact.
Don't get me wrong, I'm sure no one could have predicted a tragedy on this scale. The fact that some news outlets are discussing Autism as a reason is infuriating and shows at best, a basic misunderstanding between ASD and a severe mental illness. I just wish it was possible for teachers to be trained to recognize early signs of illness and act swiftly to get the parents informed and get them help. Maybe it wouldn't help at all. But maybe it would make one less child feel different and alone to know that other kids go through it too.
Nothing can fully explain this. No one answer will ever give the parents peace. I just hope time can ease the ache in their hearts.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Growing Up
Today was Punkin's first day of preschool.
We took him to meet his teacher and classmates last week. He walked into the classroom and shyly looked around at all the other children running around. They were just doing circle time and were starting to read a book and when Punkin saw that it was One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish he was very excited. It's one of his favorites to read with Austin.
We snuck in to the hallway with the teacher and peeked through the window to see him playing with trucks. We talked to the teacher about her curriculum and how we should handle potty training at school and when he usually naps. We peeked through the window a minute later to see him standing in the back of all the kids red faced and screaming with crocodile tears streaming down his face. He had realized we were gone and he was panicking.
Austin went and got him and carried him outside to where we were, and Punkin tugged on his hand saying "Come on, Daddy" as if to relay that he needed to get out of that place ASAP.
We've been trying to get him pumped for school ever since, telling him he would get to go play with friends and see Miss Sara (his teacher) and play on the playground. He wasn't enthused. Last time I asked "Hey, do you want to go see Miss Sara soon?!" he responded "Ummmmm....nooooooo".
So today was the day. We woke up late and scrambled to rush out the door. On the way there I talked to him about going to school, and he was fine until we got in to the classroom. He cried before we even left. I think all of the kids running around like crazy and being loud just overwhelmed him. We tried to get him to sit down and eat but he wasn't having it. We went ahead and left so it wouldn't be worse, and I fought back tears when I heard him wailing all the way down the hall.
On the way out we stopped in the parents room and had them turn the big TV to the channel that was his class so we could spy on him from a distance. Even with no sound you could see how upset he was. His teacher was holding him the entire time, trying to talk to him and make him feel better. We watched as a little girl walked up to him and offered him a toy and he refused it, pointing to the door we had just walked out of.
My Momma heart just broke. I felt like I was traumatizing him, like I was abandoning him. What if he thinks I'm never coming back? What if he thinks he's doomed to live there with a bunch of crazy kids forever? I know that's probably not true, but at that moment I felt like a horrible parent. I know he'd have so much fun with other kids and playing on the playground, he just has to be a little independent.
Sigh. I do not look forward to the day I have to do this all over again with Skeeter.
We took him to meet his teacher and classmates last week. He walked into the classroom and shyly looked around at all the other children running around. They were just doing circle time and were starting to read a book and when Punkin saw that it was One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish he was very excited. It's one of his favorites to read with Austin.
We snuck in to the hallway with the teacher and peeked through the window to see him playing with trucks. We talked to the teacher about her curriculum and how we should handle potty training at school and when he usually naps. We peeked through the window a minute later to see him standing in the back of all the kids red faced and screaming with crocodile tears streaming down his face. He had realized we were gone and he was panicking.
Austin went and got him and carried him outside to where we were, and Punkin tugged on his hand saying "Come on, Daddy" as if to relay that he needed to get out of that place ASAP.
We've been trying to get him pumped for school ever since, telling him he would get to go play with friends and see Miss Sara (his teacher) and play on the playground. He wasn't enthused. Last time I asked "Hey, do you want to go see Miss Sara soon?!" he responded "Ummmmm....nooooooo".
So today was the day. We woke up late and scrambled to rush out the door. On the way there I talked to him about going to school, and he was fine until we got in to the classroom. He cried before we even left. I think all of the kids running around like crazy and being loud just overwhelmed him. We tried to get him to sit down and eat but he wasn't having it. We went ahead and left so it wouldn't be worse, and I fought back tears when I heard him wailing all the way down the hall.
On the way out we stopped in the parents room and had them turn the big TV to the channel that was his class so we could spy on him from a distance. Even with no sound you could see how upset he was. His teacher was holding him the entire time, trying to talk to him and make him feel better. We watched as a little girl walked up to him and offered him a toy and he refused it, pointing to the door we had just walked out of.
My Momma heart just broke. I felt like I was traumatizing him, like I was abandoning him. What if he thinks I'm never coming back? What if he thinks he's doomed to live there with a bunch of crazy kids forever? I know that's probably not true, but at that moment I felt like a horrible parent. I know he'd have so much fun with other kids and playing on the playground, he just has to be a little independent.
Sigh. I do not look forward to the day I have to do this all over again with Skeeter.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Update
It's been a while since I've been here!
Thanks to all my Momma friends who commented on my last post (either here or on Facebook) and gave me advice. It seems like Punkin has calmed down a bit, but he still has his moments of toddler insanity. Just today he thought it'd be a really neat idea to throw a basketball at Austin's face while Austin was eating a bowl of cereal. Needless to say, that didn't go well for him. He is now very familiar with the time out chair and can put himself there when I give him the stink eye and tell him "time out!". So, there's that!
Mostly though, he's pretty awesome. He's talking SO MUCH now. I can't get over some of the things that come out of his mouth. I love this stage. It's amazing and frustrating and hilarious and cringe inducing. I can't believe he's going to be 3 in just a few months.
He should be starting preschool two days a week in just a few weeks and while I'm so excited for him to be able to socialize with other kids, I'm also scared to death of those first few weeks when I just know dropping him off is going to be miserable. He's always been with us or a family member so I think he'll be a little put off at first. In then end, I think he'll love it.
Oh my, Skeeter is getting so big. She's been acting like she wants to crawl for ages and she's finally started scooting herself around pretty effectively. Not traditional crawling, she's kind of launching herself forward with her feet and army crawling. Either way, she can get where she needs to go.
I'm so excited to start her on solids in a few weeks. She'll be 6 months on the 19th and I'll probably give her a little mushed banana like I did for Punkin. She seems so interested in food whenever we're eating so it'll be fun to let her try.
Classes are going well for me and being part time is pretty much awesome. I'll have to go back full time during tax season unfortunately, but at least we'll be making more money and we'll be able to save a little more.
Things are as calm as can be expected at the moment. Hopefully it stays this way!
Thanks to all my Momma friends who commented on my last post (either here or on Facebook) and gave me advice. It seems like Punkin has calmed down a bit, but he still has his moments of toddler insanity. Just today he thought it'd be a really neat idea to throw a basketball at Austin's face while Austin was eating a bowl of cereal. Needless to say, that didn't go well for him. He is now very familiar with the time out chair and can put himself there when I give him the stink eye and tell him "time out!". So, there's that!
Mostly though, he's pretty awesome. He's talking SO MUCH now. I can't get over some of the things that come out of his mouth. I love this stage. It's amazing and frustrating and hilarious and cringe inducing. I can't believe he's going to be 3 in just a few months.
He should be starting preschool two days a week in just a few weeks and while I'm so excited for him to be able to socialize with other kids, I'm also scared to death of those first few weeks when I just know dropping him off is going to be miserable. He's always been with us or a family member so I think he'll be a little put off at first. In then end, I think he'll love it.
Oh my, Skeeter is getting so big. She's been acting like she wants to crawl for ages and she's finally started scooting herself around pretty effectively. Not traditional crawling, she's kind of launching herself forward with her feet and army crawling. Either way, she can get where she needs to go.
I'm so excited to start her on solids in a few weeks. She'll be 6 months on the 19th and I'll probably give her a little mushed banana like I did for Punkin. She seems so interested in food whenever we're eating so it'll be fun to let her try.
Classes are going well for me and being part time is pretty much awesome. I'll have to go back full time during tax season unfortunately, but at least we'll be making more money and we'll be able to save a little more.
Things are as calm as can be expected at the moment. Hopefully it stays this way!
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| Two love bugs just hanging out. |
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Calling all Moms!
I'm hoping my other Momma friends read this and comment, because I'm getting a little concerned.
I've noticed in the past month or so a definite change in Punkin's personality. Where he used to be fun and (mostly) compliant and all around a happy kid, he's suddenly become overly whiny and clingy and defiant. I'm hoping this is just normal toddler behavior and maybe he's just learned he can assert his independence more now that he has a better grasp on language, but I'm worried something else may be going on.
In the past week or so, bedtime has been a major issue. He's always been a great sleeper, but suddenly he won't stay in the bed and we either have to lay with him until he's asleep or put him in the big bed until he's asleep and then move him. I want to make him feel secure and let him know we're here if he needs us, but I also don't want to get him in the habit of sleeping in our bed for fear it'll take forever to break.
I can't help but wonder if part of it is his diet. He's so incredibly picky and really eats the same 4 or 5 meals over and over again. And even when we give him those 4 or 5 meals, most of the time he hardly eats anything. Could he be low in some nutrient we're not aware of? Could he have some sort of food intolerance that's making him cranky?
Maybe he's bored being home all day. He's starting preschool 2 days a week soon, and I'm excited because I think it'll be good for him to be in a social environment with kids his own age, but now I'm worried the whole process will be made more difficult since he's become more clingy in the past few weeks.
He's been pretty good with Skeeter this whole time, maybe it's catching up to him now. The only time he seems a little jealous is when I'm feeding her and he wants to sit with me or lay on the pillow I'm using.
Sigh. Hopefully it's just normal toddler development, but I hope it passes soon. Any words of wisdom or advice?
I've noticed in the past month or so a definite change in Punkin's personality. Where he used to be fun and (mostly) compliant and all around a happy kid, he's suddenly become overly whiny and clingy and defiant. I'm hoping this is just normal toddler behavior and maybe he's just learned he can assert his independence more now that he has a better grasp on language, but I'm worried something else may be going on.
In the past week or so, bedtime has been a major issue. He's always been a great sleeper, but suddenly he won't stay in the bed and we either have to lay with him until he's asleep or put him in the big bed until he's asleep and then move him. I want to make him feel secure and let him know we're here if he needs us, but I also don't want to get him in the habit of sleeping in our bed for fear it'll take forever to break.
I can't help but wonder if part of it is his diet. He's so incredibly picky and really eats the same 4 or 5 meals over and over again. And even when we give him those 4 or 5 meals, most of the time he hardly eats anything. Could he be low in some nutrient we're not aware of? Could he have some sort of food intolerance that's making him cranky?
Maybe he's bored being home all day. He's starting preschool 2 days a week soon, and I'm excited because I think it'll be good for him to be in a social environment with kids his own age, but now I'm worried the whole process will be made more difficult since he's become more clingy in the past few weeks.
He's been pretty good with Skeeter this whole time, maybe it's catching up to him now. The only time he seems a little jealous is when I'm feeding her and he wants to sit with me or lay on the pillow I'm using.
Sigh. Hopefully it's just normal toddler development, but I hope it passes soon. Any words of wisdom or advice?
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
That Thing I'm Not Supposed to Mention...
I'm going to mention it.
My parents have been going through a divorce for the past 100 years. Okay, not really. But it really seemed that way at times. Things have been very pulled and tugged, back and forth, over and over. Through it all, there were very few times I really let myself feel anything about it. I kept it pushed down and locked up because a) I have my own kids and husband to worry about and b) I didn't want to make the whole ordeal any harder on them than it needed to be.
The thing is, now that it's done and final and we're starting to adjust to our new normal, there's a weird emptiness about the whole situation. I was there when it was finalized and as it was happening I had a moment of panic. I'm not sure where that emotion came from, but it rose up in me like a hungry basilisk and threatened to burst out in the form of angry tears. I held it in. I choked it back. And 5 minutes later when it was done and my mom was ready to leave the court room in a hurry, I followed and made jokes and hugged my mom. And that was it.
That was it. Since then I don't really know how to feel. I want them to both be happy. I want them to both move on. I want to be able to navigate things like holidays and birthdays without hurt feelings and drama. But I also have to do the inevitable thing we as humans always do when something like this happens. We compare.
A very close friend went through a divorce years ago, and it was so hard on me and for the life of me I couldn't figure out why. I mean, it wasn't my relationship. I was sad for her, sure. But why was I suddenly bawling while I'm trying to do my make up? Truth is, I was worried. Could it happen to Austin and I? What went wrong there and could it potentially go wrong here?
Sure, it could happen to us. I'm very much a realist, and most of my friends could probably tell you that. I don't pretend to live in a world filled with puppies and rainbows where relationships are perfect and people are perfect. Relationships are hard. Really hard. And people are essentially selfish beings. The thing I've learned from seeing these relationships end around me is that you really have to want it to make it work. You have to be willing to fight for it. You have to be willing to apologize and admit you were wrong and you have to be willing to make yourself vulnerable to another person. That for me is the hardest part.
So now that the dust is starting to settle and things are moving forward and I've done all the self analyzing I think I care to do, I have to take this lesson and learn from it. Speak up if you're unhappy. Get help if you can't help yourselves. Therapy does not equal weakness. Austin and I have always said we'll do anything humanly possible to prevent a divorce if things start going south, and I just hope we both stick to that.
My parents have been going through a divorce for the past 100 years. Okay, not really. But it really seemed that way at times. Things have been very pulled and tugged, back and forth, over and over. Through it all, there were very few times I really let myself feel anything about it. I kept it pushed down and locked up because a) I have my own kids and husband to worry about and b) I didn't want to make the whole ordeal any harder on them than it needed to be.
The thing is, now that it's done and final and we're starting to adjust to our new normal, there's a weird emptiness about the whole situation. I was there when it was finalized and as it was happening I had a moment of panic. I'm not sure where that emotion came from, but it rose up in me like a hungry basilisk and threatened to burst out in the form of angry tears. I held it in. I choked it back. And 5 minutes later when it was done and my mom was ready to leave the court room in a hurry, I followed and made jokes and hugged my mom. And that was it.
That was it. Since then I don't really know how to feel. I want them to both be happy. I want them to both move on. I want to be able to navigate things like holidays and birthdays without hurt feelings and drama. But I also have to do the inevitable thing we as humans always do when something like this happens. We compare.
A very close friend went through a divorce years ago, and it was so hard on me and for the life of me I couldn't figure out why. I mean, it wasn't my relationship. I was sad for her, sure. But why was I suddenly bawling while I'm trying to do my make up? Truth is, I was worried. Could it happen to Austin and I? What went wrong there and could it potentially go wrong here?
Sure, it could happen to us. I'm very much a realist, and most of my friends could probably tell you that. I don't pretend to live in a world filled with puppies and rainbows where relationships are perfect and people are perfect. Relationships are hard. Really hard. And people are essentially selfish beings. The thing I've learned from seeing these relationships end around me is that you really have to want it to make it work. You have to be willing to fight for it. You have to be willing to apologize and admit you were wrong and you have to be willing to make yourself vulnerable to another person. That for me is the hardest part.
So now that the dust is starting to settle and things are moving forward and I've done all the self analyzing I think I care to do, I have to take this lesson and learn from it. Speak up if you're unhappy. Get help if you can't help yourselves. Therapy does not equal weakness. Austin and I have always said we'll do anything humanly possible to prevent a divorce if things start going south, and I just hope we both stick to that.
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Back to School
For me!
That's right. It's been 5 years since I earned my AA and I'm going back to school for Early Childhood Education. For those of you who are totally surprised, me too. It was a super last minute decision. I mean, it's something I've been thinking about for a long time. I've always been interested in child development and how children learn and experience life. So, I bit the bullet and just decided to go for it this semester. I'm taking two online classes and so far so good.
I have a feeling it will be harder than I anticipated. Austin is out of town this weekend at a comedy show in Jacksonville so it's just me and the kiddos, and I've managed to get some school work done, but it's not easy to read about children's literature with a two year old running around and constantly asking for snack/drink/choo choo. Hopefully I can manage it!
Skeeter is rolling over and over and over. I can't put her on her play mat anymore because she just rolls on to the hard wood floor. Luckily my Grandma sent me an awesome quilt that she made so I've been putting that on the floor and just letting her roll to her heart's content. The problem is when she's all out in the open like that, Punkin likes to run in a circle around her pretending he's a choo choo train. It's terrifying, really.
We've all been victims of a horrible flu this week. We're just recovered although Punkin is still complaining that his belly hurts. I can't decide if it really hurts or if he's garnering some extra sympathy. Either way I'm so glad he's finally verbal enough to tell me what hurts. "Belly hurts" or "mouth hurts" or "finger hurts" is so much help. It's horrible trying to guess what's wrong and getting it wrong over and over. It's amazing how much he learns every day. He's his own little person now. I don't know whether to be happy or sad about it.
Both the babies are growing at a ridiculous rate. Does it ever slow down?
That's right. It's been 5 years since I earned my AA and I'm going back to school for Early Childhood Education. For those of you who are totally surprised, me too. It was a super last minute decision. I mean, it's something I've been thinking about for a long time. I've always been interested in child development and how children learn and experience life. So, I bit the bullet and just decided to go for it this semester. I'm taking two online classes and so far so good.
I have a feeling it will be harder than I anticipated. Austin is out of town this weekend at a comedy show in Jacksonville so it's just me and the kiddos, and I've managed to get some school work done, but it's not easy to read about children's literature with a two year old running around and constantly asking for snack/drink/choo choo. Hopefully I can manage it!
Skeeter is rolling over and over and over. I can't put her on her play mat anymore because she just rolls on to the hard wood floor. Luckily my Grandma sent me an awesome quilt that she made so I've been putting that on the floor and just letting her roll to her heart's content. The problem is when she's all out in the open like that, Punkin likes to run in a circle around her pretending he's a choo choo train. It's terrifying, really.
We've all been victims of a horrible flu this week. We're just recovered although Punkin is still complaining that his belly hurts. I can't decide if it really hurts or if he's garnering some extra sympathy. Either way I'm so glad he's finally verbal enough to tell me what hurts. "Belly hurts" or "mouth hurts" or "finger hurts" is so much help. It's horrible trying to guess what's wrong and getting it wrong over and over. It's amazing how much he learns every day. He's his own little person now. I don't know whether to be happy or sad about it.
Both the babies are growing at a ridiculous rate. Does it ever slow down?
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Too Much
That's how I feel about life right now. There's just too much to do.
We went to the beach for my Daddy's 50th birthday this weekend, and it was amazing. The weather called for storms all weekend, and it stayed beautiful until we left Sunday morning (then it started to pour and Austin was caught in it while riding a moped he rented. Rain apparently HURTS!). Punkin had a wonderful time splashing in the water with his cousins and he's become quite the little daredevil. He would have gladly dived head first into the ocean if we had let him. I'm glad he's not scared, but I wish he was a little more cautious!
Skeeter was a dream the whole time we were there. My Dad says she was the best behaved out of everyone! She played quietly on her mat. She slept surprisingly well considering we were all in one room (her in the pack n play, Punkin in the bed with us). She loves to play with her Paw Paw so I think she was happy to be with him all weekend.
She's rolling from her belly to her back all the time (I turn my head for a second and she's on her back!) and she's grabbing at things she's interested in. She's super close to rolling from her back to her belly, but her arm always gets in the way. When we put her on her play mat, she likes to grab on to her toy butterfly that dangles above her and shake it so it makes noise. It's something so simple, yet so adorable. It's funny what makes us feel all fuzzy inside as parents.
Punkin is going pee in the potty like a champ...as long as he's naked. We pretty much just let him run around the house all day bare bottomed. Whenever we try to put pants or underwear on him, he just pees in it like he's wearing a diaper. Sometimes he'll pee just a little and then let us know he needs to go pee in the potty. I guess it's a work in progress at the moment. He did poop in the potty once and we lost our minds celebrating (I'm pretty sure I gave him the equivalent of a full bag of M&M's) but it's only happened the one time. It'll probably take a full year to get him all the way trained.
He's at an age now where he's learning so much, it's hard for me to keep up! He surprises me every day with something new that he's learned. Yesterday, while watching an outer space episode of Yo Gabba, Gabba he pointed to the opening screen full of stars and said "Look, Momma! Space!". I guess I shouldn't be totally surprised seeing as how Austin is a total space nerd, but it still made me proud. He's got his ABC's down like a champ and is a pro at counting to 10. He's got most of his colors down at this point and loves to point them out everywhere.
So now I'm playing catch up with everything since being gone this weekend. We had some very dear and generous friends keep an eye on our Luna puppy and when we got home, Bestie had done my dishes and Bestie's boy had put some groceries in our fridge. Talk about good friends! I'm so grateful for that, because I've done absolutely nothing since we've been back and I can't imagine the state my kitchen would be in if I those dishes were still in the sink (which they totally would be BTW). It's so hard for me to find the motivation to wake up and go to work every morning and then come home after a long (probably drama filled) day and do anything except play with my babies and go to bed. This weekend will be full of dishes and laundry, I'm sure.
We went to the beach for my Daddy's 50th birthday this weekend, and it was amazing. The weather called for storms all weekend, and it stayed beautiful until we left Sunday morning (then it started to pour and Austin was caught in it while riding a moped he rented. Rain apparently HURTS!). Punkin had a wonderful time splashing in the water with his cousins and he's become quite the little daredevil. He would have gladly dived head first into the ocean if we had let him. I'm glad he's not scared, but I wish he was a little more cautious!
Skeeter was a dream the whole time we were there. My Dad says she was the best behaved out of everyone! She played quietly on her mat. She slept surprisingly well considering we were all in one room (her in the pack n play, Punkin in the bed with us). She loves to play with her Paw Paw so I think she was happy to be with him all weekend.
She's rolling from her belly to her back all the time (I turn my head for a second and she's on her back!) and she's grabbing at things she's interested in. She's super close to rolling from her back to her belly, but her arm always gets in the way. When we put her on her play mat, she likes to grab on to her toy butterfly that dangles above her and shake it so it makes noise. It's something so simple, yet so adorable. It's funny what makes us feel all fuzzy inside as parents.
Punkin is going pee in the potty like a champ...as long as he's naked. We pretty much just let him run around the house all day bare bottomed. Whenever we try to put pants or underwear on him, he just pees in it like he's wearing a diaper. Sometimes he'll pee just a little and then let us know he needs to go pee in the potty. I guess it's a work in progress at the moment. He did poop in the potty once and we lost our minds celebrating (I'm pretty sure I gave him the equivalent of a full bag of M&M's) but it's only happened the one time. It'll probably take a full year to get him all the way trained.
He's at an age now where he's learning so much, it's hard for me to keep up! He surprises me every day with something new that he's learned. Yesterday, while watching an outer space episode of Yo Gabba, Gabba he pointed to the opening screen full of stars and said "Look, Momma! Space!". I guess I shouldn't be totally surprised seeing as how Austin is a total space nerd, but it still made me proud. He's got his ABC's down like a champ and is a pro at counting to 10. He's got most of his colors down at this point and loves to point them out everywhere.
So now I'm playing catch up with everything since being gone this weekend. We had some very dear and generous friends keep an eye on our Luna puppy and when we got home, Bestie had done my dishes and Bestie's boy had put some groceries in our fridge. Talk about good friends! I'm so grateful for that, because I've done absolutely nothing since we've been back and I can't imagine the state my kitchen would be in if I those dishes were still in the sink (which they totally would be BTW). It's so hard for me to find the motivation to wake up and go to work every morning and then come home after a long (probably drama filled) day and do anything except play with my babies and go to bed. This weekend will be full of dishes and laundry, I'm sure.
Monday, August 6, 2012
Sick Day
Punkin and Momma are both sick today, so we're spending the day in our jammies in front of Netflix. I'm waiting for medicine to kick in and get rid of the raging headache I have.
In the mean time, we're watching Yo Gabba Gabba and diligently going pee in the potty. Yep. After all my worry if he was ready and all my google research on potty training tips, he suddenly decided he was ready to pee in the potty on Friday. We generally let him go naked a lot of the time, partly to help in potty training and partly to let his little bum air out between diaper changes. He was sitting on the couch and said "Pee pee couch?". I told him to go pee pee in the potty and he climbed off of the couch and stood over his little froggy potty and just started peeing. It was amazing. Ever since then he's been going pee pee in the potty like he was doing it this whole time. He has yet to poop in the potty and we're letting him run around naked as he doesn't really get the whole pulling down underwear thing, so I'm watching closely to make sure he's not squatting in a corner somewhere. One step at a time!
He's learning so much right now. He knows his letters and his numbers and is really speaking a lot clearer. He's at the point to where I can tell him what something is once and he'll actually remember. We're hoping to get him in a preschool soon so that he can socialize with some other kids and hopefully learn even more in a classroom setting. It would only be part time, but I'm excited about it.
Meanwhile, Skeeter has been sleeping like it's her job. It's been so much easier to put her down at night and when she does go down she's sleeping through the night. She's gotten to where she goes down around 8:30 and she sleeps until 6:30-7:30 in the morning. It's amazing. She had been going down around 10 but we somehow got her and Punkin on the same schedule so that they go to bed around the same time. I don't know how we did it, but hey. I'll take it.
She's really becoming such a sweet, laid back baby. She'll sit in her bouncy seat and just coo at the animals and watch us doing whatever we're doing. She thinks her big brother is hilarious already and loves when he's jumping around. She smiles so big whenever I talk to her, like she's just so happy to see me. It feels so good to be enjoying my baby.
I'm off to take a hot shower and hopefully wash this yucky sickness away.
In the mean time, we're watching Yo Gabba Gabba and diligently going pee in the potty. Yep. After all my worry if he was ready and all my google research on potty training tips, he suddenly decided he was ready to pee in the potty on Friday. We generally let him go naked a lot of the time, partly to help in potty training and partly to let his little bum air out between diaper changes. He was sitting on the couch and said "Pee pee couch?". I told him to go pee pee in the potty and he climbed off of the couch and stood over his little froggy potty and just started peeing. It was amazing. Ever since then he's been going pee pee in the potty like he was doing it this whole time. He has yet to poop in the potty and we're letting him run around naked as he doesn't really get the whole pulling down underwear thing, so I'm watching closely to make sure he's not squatting in a corner somewhere. One step at a time!
He's learning so much right now. He knows his letters and his numbers and is really speaking a lot clearer. He's at the point to where I can tell him what something is once and he'll actually remember. We're hoping to get him in a preschool soon so that he can socialize with some other kids and hopefully learn even more in a classroom setting. It would only be part time, but I'm excited about it.
Meanwhile, Skeeter has been sleeping like it's her job. It's been so much easier to put her down at night and when she does go down she's sleeping through the night. She's gotten to where she goes down around 8:30 and she sleeps until 6:30-7:30 in the morning. It's amazing. She had been going down around 10 but we somehow got her and Punkin on the same schedule so that they go to bed around the same time. I don't know how we did it, but hey. I'll take it.
She's really becoming such a sweet, laid back baby. She'll sit in her bouncy seat and just coo at the animals and watch us doing whatever we're doing. She thinks her big brother is hilarious already and loves when he's jumping around. She smiles so big whenever I talk to her, like she's just so happy to see me. It feels so good to be enjoying my baby.
I'm off to take a hot shower and hopefully wash this yucky sickness away.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Bonding
As a mother, this is something that's very difficult for me to admit.
I had a really hard time bonding with Skeeter in the beginning.
She's only two months old, so I know we're kind of still in the beginning. But in the beginning of the beginning, things were rough.
With Punkin, I was so securely bonded with him before he was even born that it didn't cross my mind for a minute that it might be a struggle. And it wasn't. My bond with him was immediate and it was the strongest sense of love I had ever felt.
From the moment I found out I was pregnant with Skeeter, I worried. I was unsure. I was scared. I really think this had an impact on how I felt when she was born. Of course I immediately loved her. She's still my baby and I would lay down my life for her in an instant. But there was just something missing there that I didn't lack with Punkin.
She's a fussy baby. She fights sleep with everything her little body has, and I'm so ashamed of how frustrated I would get with her for the first month of her life. It seemed like nothing I did helped. I couldn't calm her at all and I would just hold her and watch her cry and just beg her to stop. There were a few times I just had to put her in the swing and walk away for my sanity. I felt like the most horrible, worthless mother in the world. I was certain I had post partum depression and seriously considered seeking help.
I remember when I was pregnant with Punkin, Bestie told me if I didn't immediately bond with him, that was okay. That it happens sometimes and that things would get better. I blew that comment off. I was already so in tune to him that I knew I wouldn't have any issues. But now I'm remembering her words and thinking of how right she was. And I wonder how many other women go through this and come out okay.
As Mothers, I feel like we're expected to naturally be good at taking care of babies. To naturally have that maternal instinct that tells us what's wrong with a crying baby and how to soothe them to tranquility. Talk about pressure.
There are still hard moments. I texted a friend in a fit of self loathing about how there's nothing I can do for her just last week.
Deep breaths.
I am happy to report that things are much better. I look at her sometimes and get that overwhelming feeling of love where I want to squeeze her and kiss her and tell her how much I love her...so I do. I sing to her and wonder if she'll still want me to when she's Punkin's age and too squirmy to sit still for a song. I play with her and delight in her smiles and coos and try to keep it going as long as I can.
I keep telling myself it's just her temperament, and all babies are different. She's just as frustrated as I am when she's crying because she's so sleepy. And sometimes she just needs to cry, and that's okay. If I've tried everything in my power to calm her, then it's okay to just hold her and let her cry.
We're learning together.
I had a really hard time bonding with Skeeter in the beginning.
She's only two months old, so I know we're kind of still in the beginning. But in the beginning of the beginning, things were rough.
With Punkin, I was so securely bonded with him before he was even born that it didn't cross my mind for a minute that it might be a struggle. And it wasn't. My bond with him was immediate and it was the strongest sense of love I had ever felt.
From the moment I found out I was pregnant with Skeeter, I worried. I was unsure. I was scared. I really think this had an impact on how I felt when she was born. Of course I immediately loved her. She's still my baby and I would lay down my life for her in an instant. But there was just something missing there that I didn't lack with Punkin.
She's a fussy baby. She fights sleep with everything her little body has, and I'm so ashamed of how frustrated I would get with her for the first month of her life. It seemed like nothing I did helped. I couldn't calm her at all and I would just hold her and watch her cry and just beg her to stop. There were a few times I just had to put her in the swing and walk away for my sanity. I felt like the most horrible, worthless mother in the world. I was certain I had post partum depression and seriously considered seeking help.
I remember when I was pregnant with Punkin, Bestie told me if I didn't immediately bond with him, that was okay. That it happens sometimes and that things would get better. I blew that comment off. I was already so in tune to him that I knew I wouldn't have any issues. But now I'm remembering her words and thinking of how right she was. And I wonder how many other women go through this and come out okay.
As Mothers, I feel like we're expected to naturally be good at taking care of babies. To naturally have that maternal instinct that tells us what's wrong with a crying baby and how to soothe them to tranquility. Talk about pressure.
There are still hard moments. I texted a friend in a fit of self loathing about how there's nothing I can do for her just last week.
Deep breaths.
I am happy to report that things are much better. I look at her sometimes and get that overwhelming feeling of love where I want to squeeze her and kiss her and tell her how much I love her...so I do. I sing to her and wonder if she'll still want me to when she's Punkin's age and too squirmy to sit still for a song. I play with her and delight in her smiles and coos and try to keep it going as long as I can.
I keep telling myself it's just her temperament, and all babies are different. She's just as frustrated as I am when she's crying because she's so sleepy. And sometimes she just needs to cry, and that's okay. If I've tried everything in my power to calm her, then it's okay to just hold her and let her cry.
We're learning together.
Monday, July 16, 2012
"Extreme" Parenting
I came across an article today about a show that TLC is running called "Extreme Parenting". I was disheartened to read the "extreme" part means extended breastfeeding, co-sleeping and elimination communication practicing parents. Extreme? Really?
The really disturbing thing about this article was the reader comments at the bottom. People comparing breastfeeding to molestation and demanding these children be taken away from their parents. I can't even comprehend why another parenting style would cause so much outrage (excluding the obvious abuse or neglect).
I'm having flashbacks of that horrible Time magazine cover with the Mom nursing her 3 year old as he stands on a chair. No, it wasn't horrible because the child was 3. It was horrible because it sensationalized and sexualized extended breastfeeding. There was nothing loving or nurturing about that picture. There were plenty of wonderful pictures of mothers and children on the inside, but Time chose the most obnoxious one they could find.
TLC has decided to cash in on the debate that's been sparked, and I'm irritated to say the least.
Here's the thing: why do we care so much? I mean really? As mother, heck as parents, we have a tough gig. There's a lot of work to be done with little to no recognition or appreciation. But we don't care, because the mere fact that our kids wake up every morning gives us satisfaction. So why should another person care if how long I breastfeed or if I let my baby sleep in the bed?
I guess what I'm trying to say is that as parents, we all have things that we struggle with as far as child rearing goes. I don't think that these labels (i.e. attachment parenting, authoritarian, etc) provide a positive outlook. We should really be supporting each other through parenthood, not ripping each other for things like formula vs. breastfeeding. As long as our kids are fed and healthy and happy, why all the negativity?
I hate that the media is fueling this debate. I hope we can all come to recognize that parents need to do what they feel is right for their families, not for everyone else.
The really disturbing thing about this article was the reader comments at the bottom. People comparing breastfeeding to molestation and demanding these children be taken away from their parents. I can't even comprehend why another parenting style would cause so much outrage (excluding the obvious abuse or neglect).
I'm having flashbacks of that horrible Time magazine cover with the Mom nursing her 3 year old as he stands on a chair. No, it wasn't horrible because the child was 3. It was horrible because it sensationalized and sexualized extended breastfeeding. There was nothing loving or nurturing about that picture. There were plenty of wonderful pictures of mothers and children on the inside, but Time chose the most obnoxious one they could find.
TLC has decided to cash in on the debate that's been sparked, and I'm irritated to say the least.
Here's the thing: why do we care so much? I mean really? As mother, heck as parents, we have a tough gig. There's a lot of work to be done with little to no recognition or appreciation. But we don't care, because the mere fact that our kids wake up every morning gives us satisfaction. So why should another person care if how long I breastfeed or if I let my baby sleep in the bed?
I guess what I'm trying to say is that as parents, we all have things that we struggle with as far as child rearing goes. I don't think that these labels (i.e. attachment parenting, authoritarian, etc) provide a positive outlook. We should really be supporting each other through parenthood, not ripping each other for things like formula vs. breastfeeding. As long as our kids are fed and healthy and happy, why all the negativity?
I hate that the media is fueling this debate. I hope we can all come to recognize that parents need to do what they feel is right for their families, not for everyone else.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Routine
Skeeter is definitely starting to show her little personality. She loves when we play with her and when I sing to her, but only if she can see my face while I'm singing. She loves when her Daddy tells her how pretty she is. She gives him a big smile every time. She still wants to be held just so, and she'll let you know if she's not in the position she thinks she should be in.
I feel like bed time is getting a little easier. I'm not sure if it's Austin and I learning what to do to get her to sleep, or if she's just learning that she's tired so she should probably just go to sleep. It still takes some time for us to get her down, but I feel like it's less time and when we put her down, she actually stays down. Punkin's bedtime has pretty much settled on 8:00. He goes to sleep pretty quickly when we put him to bed and it's early enough that we still have a little bit of time before we go to bed.
She sleeps pretty well at night. I'm luckier than most, I think. She goes down between 9 and 10 and she usually sleeps until 3:30 or so to nurse and goes right back to sleep until about 6:30ish. Then she nurses again and a lot of times will go back to sleep until 9 or so.
Twice she's slept straight through until 6:30 (knock on wood). I almost couldn't go back to sleep when I put her back down after nursing her the first time she did this. My body wasn't used to having that much sleep at one time!
I put her down for a nap a few days ago, and heard her crying a few minutes later. I went to check on her and she had rolled over! I'm pretty sure she managed to push against the side of the pack and play and gain just the right leverage to push herself over, but I was still impressed. She was not amused. I'm pretty sure she scared herself to hysterics.
Since I've gone back to work, I think Punkin is feeling a little stressed. He's been demanding more of my attention, especially when I'm holding the baby, which he wasn't doing before. We still give him lots of one on one attention, but he admittedly gets it more from Daddy than from me. I'm usually busy nursing or changing diapers or just holding a fussy baby. He's acting out a bit more where he had previously calmed down. I guess to him negative attention is still attention. I'm hoping to try and carve out some more time with him so he feels more secure, it's just a matter of finding that time.
Austin has been booked at Bonkerz comedy clubs throughout Florida, and is currently trying to set up a tour with a few friends around some college campuses. I'm so excited for him since he's finally doing what he wants to do in life (and getting paid for it). But I'm also nervous to have whole weekends where it's just me and two kids. Hopefully the older Skeeter gets, the easier it'll be.
I feel like bed time is getting a little easier. I'm not sure if it's Austin and I learning what to do to get her to sleep, or if she's just learning that she's tired so she should probably just go to sleep. It still takes some time for us to get her down, but I feel like it's less time and when we put her down, she actually stays down. Punkin's bedtime has pretty much settled on 8:00. He goes to sleep pretty quickly when we put him to bed and it's early enough that we still have a little bit of time before we go to bed.
She sleeps pretty well at night. I'm luckier than most, I think. She goes down between 9 and 10 and she usually sleeps until 3:30 or so to nurse and goes right back to sleep until about 6:30ish. Then she nurses again and a lot of times will go back to sleep until 9 or so.
Twice she's slept straight through until 6:30 (knock on wood). I almost couldn't go back to sleep when I put her back down after nursing her the first time she did this. My body wasn't used to having that much sleep at one time!
I put her down for a nap a few days ago, and heard her crying a few minutes later. I went to check on her and she had rolled over! I'm pretty sure she managed to push against the side of the pack and play and gain just the right leverage to push herself over, but I was still impressed. She was not amused. I'm pretty sure she scared herself to hysterics.
Since I've gone back to work, I think Punkin is feeling a little stressed. He's been demanding more of my attention, especially when I'm holding the baby, which he wasn't doing before. We still give him lots of one on one attention, but he admittedly gets it more from Daddy than from me. I'm usually busy nursing or changing diapers or just holding a fussy baby. He's acting out a bit more where he had previously calmed down. I guess to him negative attention is still attention. I'm hoping to try and carve out some more time with him so he feels more secure, it's just a matter of finding that time.
Austin has been booked at Bonkerz comedy clubs throughout Florida, and is currently trying to set up a tour with a few friends around some college campuses. I'm so excited for him since he's finally doing what he wants to do in life (and getting paid for it). But I'm also nervous to have whole weekends where it's just me and two kids. Hopefully the older Skeeter gets, the easier it'll be.
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| He still loves her, even if she does steal our attention. |
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Back to the Grind
Yep. Back at work.
Yesterday was my first day back at work. After the initial teary good-byes and whines of "But I don't WANNA go back to work!", I made it through in one piece. Luckily it's slow as molases here right now and everyone is out on vacation so there's not a lot to do.
Back to pumping. It's not as horrible as I remember, but I think it's because I remember the end where I was barely pumping enough to keep up with Punkin's intake and it was super stressful. But we managed to make it through the first year, so I'm hoping I have no problems this time. Nursing has gotten so much better with Skeeter (formally known as baby girl) and I can't tell you what a relief that is. If I can make it to a year with her and not have to buy formula, I'll be so happy. She makes this awful smacking sound when she first latches on, but I'm pain free and she seems to be getting what she needs so I'm letting it slide.
She has also hit her 6 week growth spurt. She's a little grumpier and WAY hungrier than normal. I'm hoping it passes fairly quickly. Austin fed her a 3 ounce bottle this morning and she was still hungry. Punkin took 3 ounces a bottle almost until the end of him getting a bottle. Then again he was just so laid back it was crazy.
Yesterday was my first day back at work. After the initial teary good-byes and whines of "But I don't WANNA go back to work!", I made it through in one piece. Luckily it's slow as molases here right now and everyone is out on vacation so there's not a lot to do.
Back to pumping. It's not as horrible as I remember, but I think it's because I remember the end where I was barely pumping enough to keep up with Punkin's intake and it was super stressful. But we managed to make it through the first year, so I'm hoping I have no problems this time. Nursing has gotten so much better with Skeeter (formally known as baby girl) and I can't tell you what a relief that is. If I can make it to a year with her and not have to buy formula, I'll be so happy. She makes this awful smacking sound when she first latches on, but I'm pain free and she seems to be getting what she needs so I'm letting it slide.
She has also hit her 6 week growth spurt. She's a little grumpier and WAY hungrier than normal. I'm hoping it passes fairly quickly. Austin fed her a 3 ounce bottle this morning and she was still hungry. Punkin took 3 ounces a bottle almost until the end of him getting a bottle. Then again he was just so laid back it was crazy.
I'm starting to get a little stressed about how I'm going to manage work and home. I don't get home until 5:30 and then it's handling kids pretty much until they're in bed, which for Skeeter can be anywhere from 8:00-10:00. We've started putting Punkin to bed later because his former 7:00 bedtime just isn't cutting it. He's not tired at all when we put him down so he ends up just jumping around and yelling in his crib until he falls asleep. We've been putting him down around 8:30-9 which is a big change for me (he doesn't seem to notice the difference. He's still up at 7am). I'm used to having those hours before I go to sleep to clean/eat/watch tv with the hubs. Now by the time he's down and Skeeter is down, I want to go down. Last night I seriously considered skipping dinner and going straight to bed. I ate a bowl of cereal and by the time I was done, Skeeter was up crying again. Sigh. Here's hoping a real routine starts up before we're all buried under a pile of dishes and cloth diapers.
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| Snuggle Bugs |
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