Nostalgia

So my very dear friend mentioned in a previous post was married on Friday, 11-11-11. Punkin walked down the isle and was absolutely adorable. The bride was positively stunning. Seriously. She could've been a Disney princess.

This friend I've known and loved since high school. We've been through a lot together, including petty arguments and break ups. When the relationship you have with someone spans over 10 years, memories are abundant.

At her wedding, her Dad gave a toast for her and her freshly minted husband. He called her Mom up there, and watching them both stand up there next to my friend in her beautifully flowing wedding dress, I had such a strong hit of nostalgia I wanted to cry.

I remember being a kid in their house. I remember her older brother lifting me up by the overalls and teaching me to lock my arms in my pockets to avoid a horrible wedgie. I remember her younger sister starting high school and it being SO WEIRD to see her in the halls. And now here we all were. On one side I had my very best friend from 5th grade, who got way too hot for the likes of me in middle school. On the other side, my ex boyfriend, the last real one I had before Austin. My first love, who I still cherish dearly because I learned a lot about love and even more about heart break from him, but who honestly, I don't know anymore. And her parents. Grey haired with lines around their eyes. Her Mom, more beautiful as she let the grey take over. Her Dad, the exact same as I always remembered him.

I miss when things were simple.

I miss talking about boys until all hours of the morning. Singing in chorus together and eating lunch in Coach Crowder's classroom. I miss being able to come home and do nothing and not worry about what I'm going to feed a child who doesn't eat. Or when I'm going to get around to those dishes because lord knows my husband isn't going to do it. Or what could possibly be causing the cough my child has been carrying around for 3 months now.

I miss not having adult responsibilities. We're all so grown up now. Getting married and having babies. Getting a real job and struggling to pay bills. It makes me sad. But then I remember that towards the end there, high school was kind of horrible. I hated everyone. I never want to go back there and you can bet I will not be attending my 10 year reunion. Everyone I care to see, I still keep in contact with.

So when I think about it, I guess being grown up isn't so bad. My ex taught me some about love, by my husband taught me the rest and filled in the gaps. My child taught me more about unconditional love than any being ever could, I think. Having a grown up job sucks, but I've met some of the most caring, funny and smart people working here. Struggling to pay bills is still pretty awful. I don't have anything nice to say about bills.

So I'll take the grown up life, but I'm glad I have those memories with her. When you know and are friends with someone for that long, they help shape who you are as a person. I am so glad she asked me to be a part of her wedding.