Thursday, May 17, 2012

Baby Eve

Tonight is the night before our baby girl is born. This time tomorrow I'll be in a morphine drip induced haze stuck in a hospital bed, and I'll also be a Momma for a second time.

I have so many mixed emotions right now. I'm not even that scared about the surgery. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure as soon as I get there tomorrow I'll suddenly remember I'm about to get sliced open. But for now, I have so many other things on my mind.

Punkin is slumbering at his Nonnie and Paw Paw's house. No idea what's about to happen tomorrow. No idea that his world is about to be absolutely turned upside down. Momma and Daddy will suddenly be Momma and Daddy to this little squalling red thing, and we won't have the time to give him the attention he's used to getting. I'm a little sad he's not here tonight. He'd be sleeping. But he'd be sleeping in the next room. Right next to us.

I guess I'm just a little sad that he won't be our only baby any more. I'm worried about how he'll adjust. I'm worried about this weekend and how everything will work out with him back and forth from the hospital to home.

I guess all this is preventing me from worrying too much about our sweet girl's arrival. With all that said, I'm incredibly excited to finally meet our baby and see what she looks like. I'm excited to hold her and to re-learn nursing together. I'm excited to get her home and get in to a routine. The surgery part just hasn't hit me yet.

So here I sit, guzzling grape soda and munching maple nut goodies. Watching TV as loud as I want and doing laundry because no, I haven't even started to pack a bag yet. Tomorrow our world will change, and we will welcome a new little soul into our hearts and home.

More on that next week when I'm human again.

Thursday, May 3, 2012


Today marks 4 years that my husband and I have been married.

Austin and I are high school sweethearts. I know, right? But it's true. We've been together 9 years, although that 9 years has been off an on and filled with the perils and turmoil of teenage heartache.

Here's the thing, when you're with someone since you're both 16 years old, things get a little hairy. Imagine yourself at 16. Okay, now imagine yourself today. See? So many changes happen between 16 and 25 to an individual, it's really hard to grow together.

So, we started dating at 16. We were young and in "love" and full of drama. It was magical and intense and surely the greatest thing ever. We went through a couple of "I'm done with this!" moments that never lasted more than a few weeks before we couldn't resist the pull. We moved in together pretty quickly after I graduated, and it was fabulously grown up of us (sarcasm). Eventually, Austin moved to Buffalo, NY for a period of time. Some of that we were together for, and the end of it we were not.

I really think that time was a big turning point in our relationship. It allowed us to have time apart where we couldn't get sucked back in to the turmoil of it all because he was several states away. He was able to hang out with friends and do what he wanted (I probably don't want to know what half of it was), and I was able to do the same. For me that meant watching Lost on Wednesday nights with friends and Dallas reruns with my dad, but hey. That's my idea of a good time.

When he returned from Buffalo, we pretty much picked up where we left off, only it was different. We both had a fresh perspective and a much more adult view of the relationship. This is where I learned to pick my battles. To respect that sometimes, he just needs to hang out with the guys. And also I learned to accept that Austin is a dreamer. His feet may be planted on the ground for my sake, but his head is in the clouds. I had to decide that I was okay with that, and he had to realize he needed to keep those feet planted and embrace being an adult.

We were married at 21 in a wonderful ceremony led by my bestie in my parents back yard. There were a grand total of 17 people in attendance, and if I had to have a wedding (which I didn't want to. I was all about eloping in the middle of the night and not telling anyone), that's the one I wanted. It was small and it was intimate and it was low stress. We were surrounded by people we both knew by name and face without struggling to remember, and people who've known us and our relationship since the beginning.

At 23 I got pregnant with our little Punkin and now at 25 we're baking a little girl, to be done in about two weeks.

At 4 years of marriage and 9 years together, we're still learning lessons. We still have to be careful to grow together, and not apart. It's so easy to go in separate directions when you've been together for so long and you've heard all the stories and done so many things and fought over the same issues over and over. It's hard to stop. It's hard to take a step back and say "Okay. Maybe I'm not always right and maybe there's a valid argument on the other side.". I'm not going to lie and say my marriage is perfect and that we have a neat little system where everything works. We don't. We struggle with money and we struggle with our separate responsibilities. But we try together and we work together and we cry together and we are together.

At the end of the day, we love each other very deeply. We respect each other and all we can do is keep working on it and keep on loving each other.

Here's to the last 4 years and hopefully to many, many more.

First kiss as a married couple!

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Cloth Diapering - So Far

So we have been cloth diapering Punkin for a couple of months now, and here's what I've learned so far:

  • My child is the most well hydrated child that ever lived, evidenced by the massive amount of pee he has stored in his toddler bladder (we've been letting him run around naked to air out his bottom and hopefully to aide in potty training. It has not).
  • Diaper Sprayer - totally overrated. Maybe it's me? Maybe toddler poops are different? But to me it was kind of a pain to try and spray all the stuck on poo off in the toilet without getting that nasty back spray. It felt like every time I sprayed a diaper, I needed to disinfect the bathroom after. Also, it didn't fit quit right on our toilet, so we were having leaks everywhere. This may be gross, but the jet setting on my water hose outside works way better.
  • Laundry is tricky business. Pre rinse on warm or cold? Wash with what kind of detergent? HOW THE HECK DO I GET THE POO SMELL OUT OF THESE DIAPERS?!
  • The sun is a magical force created to get the poo smell out of these diapers. Seriously. I had always heard it was great for the stains, which I find are much worse on the diapers with natural fibers, but I love it more for helping my dipes and inserts smell fresh again.
  • There's a difference between "soap bubbles" and "agitation bubbles". Learn the difference before you do 6 rinses trying to get the bubbles to go away (blush).
  • Spraying poo and touching pee soaked fabric is so much better than spending $15 a week (at least) on disposables. Seriously. It's already so worth it to not get down to that last diaper and think: shit. I have no gas in the car, no diapers for my kid, and no money in the bank.

Thanks to my lovely friend  Haley, I had a smashing cloth diaper shower (which I swear I'm getting thank you notes out for soon. No seriously.) and was able to get a lovely stash of diapers for Punkin to use until he's potty trained, and for baby girl to use once he's done with them. The difference in these and the ones he had been using are amazing.

Grovia® AIO Cloud
GroVia - Seriously wonderful AIO diapers. The material is divine, they look cool and they're made from natural fibers. They're super absorbent and come with an extra insert, which is great for my super soaker.

I also have some of the hybrid's, which I was so sure was going to be my favorite diapers. Now I'm not so sure. They are basically a shell with a snap in insert. You can switch inserts in the shell, essentially creating the need for less actual diapers. My problem is I'm not sure the insert is enough absorbency for my toddler. Plus, the diaper shell would get wet with pee, which automatically made me think it's done for. But now I'm reading just to let the shell air out and use another shell and switch between them. But...won't they smell like pee? Maybe I'm over thinking this!

Thirsties Duo Diaper - Love these! They have a microfiber insert that snaps together with a hemp/cotton insert which is awesome. Super absorbent. They also have those fancy leg gussets you can see in the picture, which is great for catching those poo-splosions (I'm hoping especially for that newborn poo!). I love the velcro for a squirmy toddler, but they also have snaps which is better for us because our kid loves to be naked. And pee everywhere.

BumGenius One Size - I really like these because they just seem really durable. The material is great and it fits super trim, which I love. Don't get me wrong, a fluffy butt is cute, but it's nice when Punkin can fit into his jeans without looking like he has some serious junk in the trunk. I've been using these for night time with both inserts and a prefold for extra measure, and was ecstatic about not having leaks. Unfortunately, he soaked through one just the other night. I'm thinking we need to try and limit fluid intake before bed. I swear he pees a gallon in his sleep.

So! We have a good stash (although I have to keep myself browsing for more. I mean, you can't have too many, right?!) and I'm now able to do laundry every other day, which is fabulous. Doing it every night was so daunting and I couldn't help wondering if the cost of not using disposables was being replaced in our utility bill (it wasn't).

I'm sure once baby girl gets here (16 DAYS!) I'll have more to say on cloth diapering a new born. Until then, does anyone have suggestions on slowly introducing potty training to a 2 year old? He's definitely interested and he knows you're supposed to go pee pee and poopee on the potty, but I'm not sure if I should push it any further or let him figure it out. Suggestions?