Tonight is the night before our baby girl is born. This time tomorrow I'll be in a morphine drip induced haze stuck in a hospital bed, and I'll also be a Momma for a second time.
I have so many mixed emotions right now. I'm not even that scared about the surgery. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure as soon as I get there tomorrow I'll suddenly remember I'm about to get sliced open. But for now, I have so many other things on my mind.
Punkin is slumbering at his Nonnie and Paw Paw's house. No idea what's about to happen tomorrow. No idea that his world is about to be absolutely turned upside down. Momma and Daddy will suddenly be Momma and Daddy to this little squalling red thing, and we won't have the time to give him the attention he's used to getting. I'm a little sad he's not here tonight. He'd be sleeping. But he'd be sleeping in the next room. Right next to us.
I guess I'm just a little sad that he won't be our only baby any more. I'm worried about how he'll adjust. I'm worried about this weekend and how everything will work out with him back and forth from the hospital to home.
I guess all this is preventing me from worrying too much about our sweet girl's arrival. With all that said, I'm incredibly excited to finally meet our baby and see what she looks like. I'm excited to hold her and to re-learn nursing together. I'm excited to get her home and get in to a routine. The surgery part just hasn't hit me yet.
So here I sit, guzzling grape soda and munching maple nut goodies. Watching TV as loud as I want and doing laundry because no, I haven't even started to pack a bag yet. Tomorrow our world will change, and we will welcome a new little soul into our hearts and home.
More on that next week when I'm human again.
I'm sure Jax will adjust well. Emi was 20.5 months when Isla was born and she didn't seem to care too much, but she has a really independent personality. It did take me awhile to adjust to having 2 though, but you'll find your groove soon enough. I'm so excited for you guys!
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