Thursday, November 25, 2010


I think sometimes it's really easy to forget how good we have it. Life can really drag us down. A lot. It's hard to put things into perspective when we're so busy focusing on one little miserable aspect of our lives. Don't get me wrong, I've succumbed to misery on more than one occasion. I've even welcomed it with open arms just to be able to feel a real emotion. But being older and wiser (I hope), things really change the way you have to look at things.

I'm thankful for security. That we have a roof over our heads and food in our fridge. I'm glad for the a/c and the refrigerator humming in the background. I'm thankful that Austin can bore me to tears playing xbox. I'm thankful that we have two cars and gas and Internet. I'm really so very thankful for my DVR. When I really stop and think about what luxuries we have, however everyday they seem, I realize we have it really good.

I'm thankful for friends and family. I seriously have the best of both and I can't imagine I would have survived myself without them. I have such a huge security blanket with them. I think that's why I swear I'll never leave Tallahassee. Home is where the heart is and mine is certainly here.

I'm thankful for my husband. I'm thankful that he works so hard for us and that he's willing to work even harder so I can be a stay at home mom (at least for the most part) next year. I'm thankful that even though we've had rough times and some crazy fights, we're both still here. I can't say enough how thankful I am that I have someone who loves me so much and really when it gets down to it, takes me just as I am. Things have been hard lately, and I still know how much he loves me. That means a lot.

Most of all (as you can probably guess), I'm thankful for my healthy, happy baby boy. It almost brings me to tears (I swear being a mom has made me such a wuss) thinking about families out there who go through a pregnancy and lose a baby. Or who have ever lost a child. I can't imagine the pain. I can't imagine I would be able to do anything besides curl up and wither away. I am so very grateful that my baby is here with me. That I can still smell him on me from snuggling with him before bedtime. I'm thankful for slobbery baby kisses and even the shrieking noises he likes to make in the middle of restaurants that I'm sure make people go "Won't they shut that kid up?!".

It's hard to put things in perspective. Honestly, everyday should be thanksgiving when we're busy wallowing in self doubt and sorrow. Most of us have it pretty darn good, and I think we'd all do well to think about everything we have to be thankful for more than just once a year.

Crawling around the living room, he stopped to snuggle my foot.

Friday, November 12, 2010


So, fate has decided now is the time for my boss to know I plan on leaving.

Then again, I don't believe in fate. So I suppose I should have seen this coming.

Last week was a rough week. I was sick all week and missed more work than I should have. I guess when you're snuggled up next to a squirming and laughing little Punkin while he's trying to pull your hair, it's easy to turn that cough into something more serious.

Monday morning I came in and for some reason I just Like I was out of place and the place I've worked for four years. It was odd. I walked in to hand something to my boss and he asked if I had a minute to talk. Uh oh.

So I shut the door and sat down and he basically asked me what the hell was going on. He knew something was up and at that point I had no idea what to say. How much should I tell him? In the end, he kept pressing me so I finally just fessed up. I told him I'm done after next tax season.

He was unsurprised and understanding. I think he knew that was the direction I was going. He told me I was not obligated to stay through next tax season if I felt like I needed to leave. I wanted to jump out of that chair and say "see ya", but unfortunately I'm not waiting for their benefit. We have a lot of loose ends to tie up. We have to get into a position financially for me to be able to leave and we're certainly not there yet. We're talking about selling my car...which kills me. I love my car. But that would be an extra $300 a month in my pocket. Anyone want to buy a Honda Civic?!

I also need to get my credit cards paid down. Cable will have to go (ugh). But whatever it takes I'm willing to do to be able to make this happen.

Last night was so emotionally draining, I'm practically a zombie at work today. I won't go too deep into it, but I'm just hoping that Austin and I are on the same page. I can feel myself going to my dark place again, and I'm trying with all my might to stay out of that hole. I haven't been there since right before I got pregnant and I'm not too keen on it with a baby.

I'm going to change the subject before I go all teary emo "ink as black as my heart" on you.

Punky is still practicing standing on his own. He's getting it for longer and longer periods of time now. He's also mastered the Joe Cool lean, where he'll lean against something and just stand there chillin'. It's pretty rad.

His new favorite word is baby. Although from him it's more like "BEH-BEE!". He loves to scream it all day long. He breaks it up sometimes to where he'll just say BEH or BEE but he's loving the B sound right now. He's also been saying "BWEE!" a lot. I'm not sure what it means but I'm thinking it's something like "I don't want a nap!" because he likes to say it when he's in his crib.

I'm hesitant to say that baby is actually is first word. He says it, but I don't think he actually knows the meaning behind it. He just likes to say it. He says Dada too but he doesn't realize that Austin is supposed to be Dada. He just likes to say "da da da da da da" all the live long day. I don't think I'm going to count it as a first until I know he understands what it means.

And just because, here is an adorably cute (and a little blurry) picture of Punky in a cowboy hat.

Saturday, November 6, 2010


So, I promised lots and lots of Harry Potter geekiness in the last post, and I've decided to spare you all (and when I say "you all" I mean all of you out there reading this who don't leave comments. I know you're there! I've had over 12,000 hits! hah). All I'll say is it was the most awesome awesome that ever awesomed. True story.

Punky's first Halloween has come and gone and he was completely adorable as Yoda. Austin dressed up as Luke Skywalker.

We decided to take him trick-or-treating because we're insane. Needless to say, he was totally done by the third house. He couldn't care less and the whole thing was a sham so his greedy parents could consume Halloween candy otherwise reserved for appropriately aged children dressed in the latest Target Halloween fashions.

I'm still eating the candy. :)

Punk's latest food adventure has been chicken. I guess I totally forgot what I read from (my baby food making bible) and got white meat instead of the easier to make dark meat (since it has more fat). It turned out okay I guess, but he'll only really eat it up if I mix it really well with something to hide the texture. I don't blame him really. It's almost gritty. I think chicken and apples are his favorite so far.

Because peaches and nectarines are out of season, I had to buy them frozen from New Leaf. I guess he could just eat seasonally, but he really loves peaches and it seems like there just isn't enough fruit variety. They're harder to get soft for some reason.

I also gave him yogurt for the first time. I mixed some banana in and he ate it up in no time.

So Punkin has pulling up on everything down to a science, now he's trying to stand on his own. He'll pull up and let go for a few seconds and just stand there like "Look at me, Ma!" before he adorably plops onto his fluffy diaper butt. It's a good thing babies have that extra padding because he plops on that butt at least 50 times a day. Unfortunately, he's also gotten a few bumps along the way of his journey to mobility. I suppose that comes with the territory.

I was pretty sick all week long, so I was able to spend a little more time with him. Even though I was kind of miserable during most of it, I still loved it. 

I pretty much can't wait until Christmas. Seriously. Punky probably won't even care. It'll be just another day and he'll be super cranky from going from one family's house to another, but I'm still so excited. I can't wait to see him experience the lights and music and all the adorable sweaters I can't wait to put on him! They're just sitting in his closet begging me to take them off the hanger. Soon!

Things are of course running through my head as always, but I'm not going to get into it in this post. I can't coherently express my thoughts at the moment, so I'll just be that person who makes everything all about their baby. I'm okay with that.