Crossroads.

So, fate has decided now is the time for my boss to know I plan on leaving.

Then again, I don't believe in fate. So I suppose I should have seen this coming.

Last week was a rough week. I was sick all week and missed more work than I should have. I guess when you're snuggled up next to a squirming and laughing little Punkin while he's trying to pull your hair, it's easy to turn that cough into something more serious.

Monday morning I came in and for some reason I just felt...off. Like I was out of place and the place I've worked for four years. It was odd. I walked in to hand something to my boss and he asked if I had a minute to talk. Uh oh.

So I shut the door and sat down and he basically asked me what the hell was going on. He knew something was up and at that point I had no idea what to say. How much should I tell him? In the end, he kept pressing me so I finally just fessed up. I told him I'm done after next tax season.

He was unsurprised and understanding. I think he knew that was the direction I was going. He told me I was not obligated to stay through next tax season if I felt like I needed to leave. I wanted to jump out of that chair and say "see ya", but unfortunately I'm not waiting for their benefit. We have a lot of loose ends to tie up. We have to get into a position financially for me to be able to leave and we're certainly not there yet. We're talking about selling my car...which kills me. I love my car. But that would be an extra $300 a month in my pocket. Anyone want to buy a Honda Civic?!

I also need to get my credit cards paid down. Cable will have to go (ugh). But whatever it takes I'm willing to do to be able to make this happen.

Last night was so emotionally draining, I'm practically a zombie at work today. I won't go too deep into it, but I'm just hoping that Austin and I are on the same page. I can feel myself going to my dark place again, and I'm trying with all my might to stay out of that hole. I haven't been there since right before I got pregnant and I'm not too keen on it with a baby.

I'm going to change the subject before I go all teary emo "ink as black as my heart" on you.

Punky is still practicing standing on his own. He's getting it for longer and longer periods of time now. He's also mastered the Joe Cool lean, where he'll lean against something and just stand there chillin'. It's pretty rad.

His new favorite word is baby. Although from him it's more like "BEH-BEE!". He loves to scream it all day long. He breaks it up sometimes to where he'll just say BEH or BEE but he's loving the B sound right now. He's also been saying "BWEE!" a lot. I'm not sure what it means but I'm thinking it's something like "I don't want a nap!" because he likes to say it when he's in his crib.

I'm hesitant to say that baby is actually is first word. He says it, but I don't think he actually knows the meaning behind it. He just likes to say it. He says Dada too but he doesn't realize that Austin is supposed to be Dada. He just likes to say "da da da da da da" all the live long day. I don't think I'm going to count it as a first until I know he understands what it means.

And just because, here is an adorably cute (and a little blurry) picture of Punky in a cowboy hat.