Wednesday, December 21, 2011


When I was a teenager, my Dad said something to me that I never really understood until now. He said that he worried about all of us kids every minute of every day. He was always worrying. I remember thinking that was kind of weird and blowing it off, but now I know how true it is.

I commented on my cousin's facebook status about worrying the other day. Her sweet little boy had to have a surgery and of course she was a nervous wreck. I told her about how when I was pregnant with Punkin, I worried constantly about something being wrong, so I just wanted to get to the end of my pregnancy and have him so that I could hold him in my arms and stop worrying. Little did I know, the worrying doesn't stop. Ever.

It's not the kind of all consuming worry when I'm panicking all day long. It's kind of the back of my mind worry. About everything. Did he eat enough today? Why is he so grumpy? Is he getting molars? Is his speech on track? Am I letting him watch too much TV? Maybe that's why I'm worried about his speech. Why isn't he on the same level as this other kid? Why am I comparing my kid to other kids?

I worry about his safety. I worry about his health; physical and mental. I worry about providing for him.

And now, as some of you know, we've learned we're being graced with the presence of a precious baby girl. While we're both thrilled, I can't help but feel like there are a whole new set of worries that comes with girls. Self esteem and self image. Emotions and boys and sex. I know I have to worry about all of those things with Punkin, but for some reason with a girl it seems so much more in your face. I want her to love herself. I want her to stand up to bullies. I want her to not look at a size 2 model in a magazine and think "That's what I should look like and this here, this isn't good enough". Because I thought those things and still think those things and I don't want her to feel like she's anything less than beautiful.

I guess I worry about these specific things with a girl because I know what it's like to be a teenage girl. I may be almost 8 years out of high school, but I can remember every sting and every hurt like it was yesterday. I remember the heart break and the bad decisions and the feeling of having so many emotions, eventually you end up with none at all.

I'm terrified of doing this wrong.

I wish my mom would come back now.

Monday, December 5, 2011


Punkin got his first haircut this weekend!

Austin has been pestering me for ages about getting it cut. I've been fighting it because honestly, it's just so darn cute. I seriously get comments every where I take him about what pretty red hair he has. Come on, a kid with head full of curly red can that not be adorable?


But alas, it had surpassed the curly stage and was quickly entering the white boy fro stage. He's got a lot of hair, but like his Daddy, it grows out and not down. Also, it's still really fine so it was getting to where it would get tangled really bad in the back. So I agreed.

We went to a place here in town that I think is fairly new. It's a salon specially for kids, which I really wanted. I've learned from my sisters experience with my nephew that it's hard to find someone who can cut a kids hair really well, especially a squirmy toddler. The salon was great. It had it's own play room and was really kid friendly (obviously). They had a DVD player set up in front of the chair so when the stylist popped in a Mickey Mouse DVD, Punkin was perfectly content. It took all of 10 minutes and he sat so still and nice like a big boy the whole time. They didn't have to get out the clippers out or anything, so I'm sure that helped.


After he got it cut, I took a picture and sent it to a few friends and family members. I got the exact same response from 4 of them: "NOOOOOOO! HOW COULD YOU?!". While yes, his curls are adorable, it's a pain to have to comb out the tangles. It ends in screaming and me giving up and cutting them out of this hair (yes, seriously). So, when you want to come over every night to deal with that, we'll do his hair however you want. Until then, I'll just keep it manageable. Thanks! ;)


Really, his hair looks exactly the same, only shorter. I actually think it's cuter because he actually has curls now instead of a mess of hair flopping around his head. I love it. Austin wanted it shorter, but I don't think it would've worked with how curly it is. It would've ended up standing straight up!

So other than Punkins first official big boy hair cut, nothing new and exciting has been going on. I'm starting to feel the new little one move a bit, and I'm dying for the 20th to get here so we can confirm the sex.

My Dad asked us to make a list of what Punky needs/wants for Christmas, and the first thing I could really think of was a toddler bed! We need to get him out of his crib eventually since obviously we'll need it for the new little one. I really don't think he's quite ready yet, but it'll be nice to have the bed when he is. We may try it out around his 2nd birthday (which is quickly approaching!) and if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. We had him in the pack-n-play bassinet in our room until he was about 3 months old, so we have a little bit of time even after the baby gets here. There are just so many changes coming up in his world, I'm afraid to introduce them all at once!

And just because it's hilarious, here is a silly cookie face picture for your amusement.