Austin and I are high school sweethearts. I know, right? But it's true. We've been together 9 years, although that 9 years has been off an on and filled with the perils and turmoil of teenage heartache.
Here's the thing, when you're with someone since you're both 16 years old, things get a little hairy. Imagine yourself at 16. Okay, now imagine yourself today. See? So many changes happen between 16 and 25 to an individual, it's really hard to grow together.
So, we started dating at 16. We were young and in "love" and full of drama. It was magical and intense and surely the greatest thing ever. We went through a couple of "I'm done with this!" moments that never lasted more than a few weeks before we couldn't resist the pull. We moved in together pretty quickly after I graduated, and it was fabulously grown up of us (sarcasm). Eventually, Austin moved to Buffalo, NY for a period of time. Some of that we were together for, and the end of it we were not.
I really think that time was a big turning point in our relationship. It allowed us to have time apart where we couldn't get sucked back in to the turmoil of it all because he was several states away. He was able to hang out with friends and do what he wanted (I probably don't want to know what half of it was), and I was able to do the same. For me that meant watching Lost on Wednesday nights with friends and Dallas reruns with my dad, but hey. That's my idea of a good time.
When he returned from Buffalo, we pretty much picked up where we left off, only it was different. We both had a fresh perspective and a much more adult view of the relationship. This is where I learned to pick my battles. To respect that sometimes, he just needs to hang out with the guys. And also I learned to accept that Austin is a dreamer. His feet may be planted on the ground for my sake, but his head is in the clouds. I had to decide that I was okay with that, and he had to realize he needed to keep those feet planted and embrace being an adult.
We were married at 21 in a wonderful ceremony led by my bestie in my parents back yard. There were a grand total of 17 people in attendance, and if I had to have a wedding (which I didn't want to. I was all about eloping in the middle of the night and not telling anyone), that's the one I wanted. It was small and it was intimate and it was low stress. We were surrounded by people we both knew by name and face without struggling to remember, and people who've known us and our relationship since the beginning.
At 23 I got pregnant with our little Punkin and now at 25 we're baking a little girl, to be done in about two weeks.
At 4 years of marriage and 9 years together, we're still learning lessons. We still have to be careful to grow together, and not apart. It's so easy to go in separate directions when you've been together for so long and you've heard all the stories and done so many things and fought over the same issues over and over. It's hard to stop. It's hard to take a step back and say "Okay. Maybe I'm not always right and maybe there's a valid argument on the other side.". I'm not going to lie and say my marriage is perfect and that we have a neat little system where everything works. We don't. We struggle with money and we struggle with our separate responsibilities. But we try together and we work together and we cry together and we are together.
At the end of the day, we love each other very deeply. We respect each other and all we can do is keep working on it and keep on loving each other.
Here's to the last 4 years and hopefully to many, many more.
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| First kiss as a married couple! |
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