Confession

I'm about to confess something here that I haven't confessed to many people. Mostly because I think, as we all do, I tend to judge myself harshly as a mother and I'm forever comparing myself to what other moms are doing. Because, you know...they're probably doing it better.

I was brushing Punkin's teeth one night when I noticed one of his teeth looked kind of off. There was no hole or spot, it just looked a little...different. I don't know about you, but when I get an idea in my head, be it that Austin has wrecked on the side of the road or that Punkin has a mouth full of cavities, I obsess over it. So first thing the next morning I called the pediatric dentist and set up an appointment for Punkin, which wouldn't happen for a couple of months because they're SO busy all the time.

It turns out my obsession this time was well called for. He had 4 cavities, and one tooth that looked suspicious. I wanted to die right there in that little room with the kid sized chair and the overly smiling hygienist. Her smile flickered ever so slightly when she saw my face and every employee I came across after that (the dentist, the billing lady, the receptionist) was sure to tell me how sometimes these things happen and they get kids in there all the time who need crowns and roots canals, so it was good that we caught it early. I just kept saying "I swear I brush his teeth".

I got in the car and cried. I felt like the worst mother in the history of ever. I mean really? Five cavities? At 3 years old? How does that even happen?!

So I had to really stop lying to myself and take a look at the fact that yes, there were some nights I simply forgot and figured it wasn't a big deal. There were some nights he may have had a gummy or piece of candy after brushing his teeth for going poop in the potty. I never flossed his teeth. Ever. For some reason in my brain, I didn't even really think it was possible for a kid to have this kind of damage at his age.

I never had a cavity until I was in my 20's. Austin on the other hand, not so much. His first root canal was in elementary school and his teeth get cavities like squirrels collects nuts. Apparently that's genetic, and apparently Punkin has his Daddy's teeth.

Today we went in for the second and what I thought was the last round of fillings. Turns out when they were working on him there was yet ANOTHER cavity next to an existing cavity where the rotten apple apparently was on it's way to spoiling the bunch. I wanted to throw my purse down and stamp my feet at the dentist.

"But I brush his teeth EVERY DAY! With a special ELECTRIC toothbrush we bought! AND we floss whether HE LIKES IT OR NOT! AND HE EFFING HATES IT!"

The dentist went on to explain that bacteria are like bugs in people. Some people have bigger bugs than others. Punkin apparently has some very big bugs in his mouth and there's not much I can do about it except for watch his sugar intake in snacks and juice and be diligent about oral hygiene.

The moral of the story is, I suck and my kid's mouth is going to cost me a fortune.

(For all of you who say dental insurance is a crock I LAUGH in your face. Between Punkin and Austin, it's saving me all kinds of money!)

My sweet boy at the dentist. He's such a trooper.