Routine

Skeeter is definitely starting to show her little personality. She loves when we play with her and when I sing to her, but only if she can see my face while I'm singing. She loves when her Daddy tells her how pretty she is. She gives him a big smile every time. She still wants to be held just so, and she'll let you know if she's not in the position she thinks she should be in.

I feel like bed time is getting a little easier. I'm not sure if it's Austin and I learning what to do to get her to sleep, or if she's just learning that she's tired so she should probably just go to sleep. It still takes some time for us to get her down, but I feel like it's less time and when we put her down, she actually stays down. Punkin's bedtime has pretty much settled on 8:00. He goes to sleep pretty quickly when we put him to bed and it's early enough that we still have a little bit of time before we go to bed.

She sleeps pretty well at night. I'm luckier than most, I think. She goes down between 9 and 10 and she usually sleeps until 3:30 or so to nurse and goes right back to sleep until about 6:30ish. Then she nurses again and a lot of times will go back to sleep until 9 or so.

Twice she's slept straight through until 6:30 (knock on wood). I almost couldn't go back to sleep when I put her back down after nursing her the first time she did this. My body wasn't used to having that much sleep at one time!

I put her down for a nap a few days ago, and heard her crying a few minutes later. I went to check on her and she had rolled over! I'm pretty sure she managed to push against the side of the pack and play and gain just the right leverage to push herself over, but I was still impressed. She was not amused. I'm pretty sure she scared herself to hysterics.

Since I've gone back to work, I think Punkin is feeling a little stressed. He's been demanding more of my attention, especially when I'm holding the baby, which he wasn't doing before. We still give him lots of one on one attention, but he admittedly gets it more from Daddy than from me. I'm usually busy nursing or changing diapers or just holding a fussy baby. He's acting out a bit more where he had previously calmed down. I guess to him negative attention is still attention. I'm hoping to try and carve out some more time with him so he feels more secure, it's just a matter of finding that time.

Austin has been booked at Bonkerz comedy clubs throughout Florida, and is currently trying to set up a tour with a few friends around some college campuses. I'm so excited for him since he's finally doing what he wants to do in life (and getting paid for it). But I'm also nervous to have whole weekends where it's just me and two kids. Hopefully the older Skeeter gets, the easier it'll be.

He still loves her, even if she does steal our attention.

Back to the Grind

Yep. Back at work.

Yesterday was my first day back at work. After the initial teary good-byes and whines of "But I don't WANNA go back to work!", I made it through in one piece. Luckily it's slow as molases here right now and everyone is out on vacation so there's not a lot to do.

Back to pumping. It's not as horrible as I remember, but I think it's because I remember the end where I was barely pumping enough to keep up with Punkin's intake and it was super stressful. But we managed to make it through the first year, so I'm hoping I have no problems this time. Nursing has gotten so much better with Skeeter (formally known as baby girl) and I can't tell you what a relief that is. If I can make it to a year with her and not have to buy formula, I'll be so happy. She makes this awful smacking sound when she first latches on, but I'm pain free and she seems to be getting what she needs so I'm letting it slide.

She has also hit her 6 week growth spurt. She's a little grumpier and WAY hungrier than normal. I'm hoping it passes fairly quickly. Austin fed her a 3 ounce bottle this morning and she was still hungry. Punkin took 3 ounces a bottle almost until the end of him getting a bottle. Then again he was just so laid back it was crazy.

I'm starting to get a little stressed about how I'm going to manage work and home. I don't get home until 5:30 and then it's handling kids pretty much until they're in bed, which for Skeeter can be anywhere from 8:00-10:00. We've started putting Punkin to bed later because his former 7:00 bedtime just isn't cutting it. He's not tired at all when we put him down so he ends up just jumping around and yelling in his crib until he falls asleep. We've been putting him down around 8:30-9 which is a big change for me (he doesn't seem to notice the difference. He's still up at 7am). I'm used to having those hours before I go to sleep to clean/eat/watch tv with the hubs. Now by the time he's down and Skeeter is down, I want to go down. Last night I seriously considered skipping dinner and going straight to bed. I ate a bowl of cereal and by the time I was done, Skeeter was up crying again. Sigh. Here's hoping a real routine starts up before we're all buried under a pile of dishes and cloth diapers.

Snuggle Bugs

Sanity

I am happy to report I'm feeling much more sane and much less stabby. We're beginning to fall in to a routine. Baby girl still has her moments, but she is sleeping MUCH better at night. Most nights she only wakes up twice to eat and has gone as long as 6 hours at a time. I'm still up and down with her so I'm still tired, but it's much better than being up every hour and a half and spending 4 hours with a screaming baby trying to get her to sleep.

Of course as soon as we start getting a routine down, I'm due to go back to work next week. So that's sure to mess it all up. Luckily I'm going back part time so hopefully it's not quite as stressful as it was when I had to go back with Punkin. Not to mention I had to go back in the middle of tax season with him so I was thrown to the wolves immediately.

Baby girl will be 6 weeks on Friday and she's getting so big. She's smiling at us, which makes all of the sleepless nights worth it. The first time I went to nurse her and she looked up at me with her big, gummy grin I almost died from cute.

Cloth diapering a new born is both easier and more frustrating and I imagined. I was really kind of scared of the prefolds, but they're super easy and we've never had a leak using a prefold and a cover. However, she's already outgrowing them so it's getting harder and harder to fold them just right so that they fit snugly around her legs so we don't have poop leaking out. I'm dying to get her in the one size diapers, but she's still too small and I only have a handful that fit her right now. I like to use those when we're out since they have a moisture wicking layer that keeps her skin dry in case she has to be in the diaper longer.

One thing that has really been a life saver around here is the swing. Punkin never really took to the swing and he only ever fell asleep in it a hand full of times. Baby girl has gotten to where that's where she takes her morning naps. Last night I was having trouble getting her back to sleep after she woke up to nurse, so after holding her and holding her and lots of butt patting and back rubbing I finally gave up and put her in the swing. Twenty minutes later she was out and I was able to move her back in to the bedroom where she slept for another three hours. I should send fisher price a muffin basket or something for saving my sanity.

Punkin is typically trying to get our attention by acting out some. He loves his baby sister and he always wants to hold her and giver her kisses, but he does not love all the attention she gets. He's been a bit more whiny than usual and he likes to test boundaries. He's usually in time out once or twice a day for something or other. When I can tell he's getting a bit restless I'll ask if he wants to go play in his room for a while, and he's gotten to where he loves this suggestion. Probably because he can be as destructive as he wants, and I honestly don't mind. I figure it's his room and his toys and we're constantly on him about messing the rest of the house so I'm okay with him having his own space to do what he wants.

So for now things are going well. I'm preparing myself for the dreaded 6 week growth spurt, which may or may not call for a very fussy baby. Hopefully we make it through in one piece!

Adjustment Period

I said I'd update when I was feeling human again. Honestly, I'm not quite there yet. But I thought I'd take a stab at all this anyway.

Baby girl has made her grand entrance into our lives. Punkin is taking well to being a big brother, and loves to hold his baby sister whenever he can. She was 7lbs 9 oz and though this is not tiny, she seemed that way to us. She's put on some weight since then so she doesn't seem so itty bitty, but she's still very petite. Punkin was a tank from the moment he was born, so it's fun to see her little girl features.

I really wish I could write a post raving about how amazing it is to have a new baby and how we're all puppies and rainbows over here, but I can't. It's been hard. There have been tears shed by all parties involved in up-all-nighters (by all parties, I mean me and baby girl). Nursing was not easy to begin with, and although it's gotten much easier, her latch is still wrong and I don't know how to fix it. I suspect she has reflux. She gags and coughs randomly and has been spitting up/projectile vomiting with increased frequency. Sometimes after feedings (not all of them mind you, just some) she'll cry and cry no matter what you do or how you hold her. She doesn't cry during feedings, only after. This is when I want to pull my hair out. It'll take me hours sometimes to get her to calm down and go to sleep. It's only made worse by the fact that she's tired. So she gets over tired and then just plain won't sleep. Sigh. It's a vicious cycle.

I guess I was just really spoiled by Punkin. He was such an easy baby. As long as he was swaddled up tight and had a full belly he was good to go. He would wake up every three hours at night to nurse and then he'd go right back to sleep without a problem. I didn't think this baby would be the same. In fact I joked that I didn't want to have another one because Punkin was SO good, there was no way I'd get another one like that.

I'm grateful to have maternity leave, but to be honest I'm feeling a little lost. It's a lot, I guess. Being a wife and mom of 2 now and still working from home. Having both kids home right now is like a prison. I have an extra appendage in a baby who never wants to be put down and constant headaches from trying my hardest not to lose it with my toddler who is doing what he's always done, but now I suddenly can't deal.

I'm well aware that this post makes me look like a horrible mom, but it is what it is I guess. I love both my babies and would gladly lay down my life for them, but right now we're all in an adjustment period and all I can do is hope it goes by quickly.

Despite all the stress, they still make my Momma heart warm.

Baby Eve

Tonight is the night before our baby girl is born. This time tomorrow I'll be in a morphine drip induced haze stuck in a hospital bed, and I'll also be a Momma for a second time.

I have so many mixed emotions right now. I'm not even that scared about the surgery. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure as soon as I get there tomorrow I'll suddenly remember I'm about to get sliced open. But for now, I have so many other things on my mind.

Punkin is slumbering at his Nonnie and Paw Paw's house. No idea what's about to happen tomorrow. No idea that his world is about to be absolutely turned upside down. Momma and Daddy will suddenly be Momma and Daddy to this little squalling red thing, and we won't have the time to give him the attention he's used to getting. I'm a little sad he's not here tonight. He'd be sleeping. But he'd be sleeping in the next room. Right next to us.

I guess I'm just a little sad that he won't be our only baby any more. I'm worried about how he'll adjust. I'm worried about this weekend and how everything will work out with him back and forth from the hospital to home.

I guess all this is preventing me from worrying too much about our sweet girl's arrival. With all that said, I'm incredibly excited to finally meet our baby and see what she looks like. I'm excited to hold her and to re-learn nursing together. I'm excited to get her home and get in to a routine. The surgery part just hasn't hit me yet.

So here I sit, guzzling grape soda and munching maple nut goodies. Watching TV as loud as I want and doing laundry because no, I haven't even started to pack a bag yet. Tomorrow our world will change, and we will welcome a new little soul into our hearts and home.

More on that next week when I'm human again.

Anniversary

Today marks 4 years that my husband and I have been married.

Austin and I are high school sweethearts. I know, right? But it's true. We've been together 9 years, although that 9 years has been off an on and filled with the perils and turmoil of teenage heartache.

Here's the thing, when you're with someone since you're both 16 years old, things get a little hairy. Imagine yourself at 16. Okay, now imagine yourself today. See? So many changes happen between 16 and 25 to an individual, it's really hard to grow together.

So, we started dating at 16. We were young and in "love" and full of drama. It was magical and intense and surely the greatest thing ever. We went through a couple of "I'm done with this!" moments that never lasted more than a few weeks before we couldn't resist the pull. We moved in together pretty quickly after I graduated, and it was fabulously grown up of us (sarcasm). Eventually, Austin moved to Buffalo, NY for a period of time. Some of that we were together for, and the end of it we were not.

I really think that time was a big turning point in our relationship. It allowed us to have time apart where we couldn't get sucked back in to the turmoil of it all because he was several states away. He was able to hang out with friends and do what he wanted (I probably don't want to know what half of it was), and I was able to do the same. For me that meant watching Lost on Wednesday nights with friends and Dallas reruns with my dad, but hey. That's my idea of a good time.

When he returned from Buffalo, we pretty much picked up where we left off, only it was different. We both had a fresh perspective and a much more adult view of the relationship. This is where I learned to pick my battles. To respect that sometimes, he just needs to hang out with the guys. And also I learned to accept that Austin is a dreamer. His feet may be planted on the ground for my sake, but his head is in the clouds. I had to decide that I was okay with that, and he had to realize he needed to keep those feet planted and embrace being an adult.

We were married at 21 in a wonderful ceremony led by my bestie in my parents back yard. There were a grand total of 17 people in attendance, and if I had to have a wedding (which I didn't want to. I was all about eloping in the middle of the night and not telling anyone), that's the one I wanted. It was small and it was intimate and it was low stress. We were surrounded by people we both knew by name and face without struggling to remember, and people who've known us and our relationship since the beginning.

At 23 I got pregnant with our little Punkin and now at 25 we're baking a little girl, to be done in about two weeks.

At 4 years of marriage and 9 years together, we're still learning lessons. We still have to be careful to grow together, and not apart. It's so easy to go in separate directions when you've been together for so long and you've heard all the stories and done so many things and fought over the same issues over and over. It's hard to stop. It's hard to take a step back and say "Okay. Maybe I'm not always right and maybe there's a valid argument on the other side.". I'm not going to lie and say my marriage is perfect and that we have a neat little system where everything works. We don't. We struggle with money and we struggle with our separate responsibilities. But we try together and we work together and we cry together and we are together.

At the end of the day, we love each other very deeply. We respect each other and all we can do is keep working on it and keep on loving each other.

Here's to the last 4 years and hopefully to many, many more.

 

First kiss as a married couple!



Cloth Diapering - So Far

So we have been cloth diapering Punkin for a couple of months now, and here's what I've learned so far:

• My child is the most well hydrated child that ever lived, evidenced by the massive amount of pee he has stored in his toddler bladder (we've been letting him run around naked to air out his bottom and hopefully to aide in potty training. It has not).
• Diaper Sprayer - totally overrated. Maybe it's me? Maybe toddler poops are different? But to me it was kind of a pain to try and spray all the stuck on poo off in the toilet without getting that nasty back spray. It felt like every time I sprayed a diaper, I needed to disinfect the bathroom after. Also, it didn't fit quit right on our toilet, so we were having leaks everywhere. This may be gross, but the jet setting on my water hose outside works way better.
• Laundry is tricky business. Pre rinse on warm or cold? Wash with what kind of detergent? HOW THE HECK DO I GET THE POO SMELL OUT OF THESE DIAPERS?!
• The sun is a magical force created to get the poo smell out of these diapers. Seriously. I had always heard it was great for the stains, which I find are much worse on the diapers with natural fibers, but I love it more for helping my dipes and inserts smell fresh again.
• There's a difference between "soap bubbles" and "agitation bubbles". Learn the difference before you do 6 rinses trying to get the bubbles to go away (blush).
• Spraying poo and touching pee soaked fabric is so much better than spending $15 a week (at least) on disposables. Seriously. It's already so worth it to not get down to that last diaper and think: shit. I have no gas in the car, no diapers for my kid, and no money in the bank.

Thanks to my lovely friend  Haley, I had a smashing cloth diaper shower (which I swear I'm getting thank you notes out for soon. No seriously.) and was able to get a lovely stash of diapers for Punkin to use until he's potty trained, and for baby girl to use once he's done with them. The difference in these and the ones he had been using are amazing.

GroVia - Seriously wonderful AIO diapers. The material is divine, they look cool and they're made from natural fibers. They're super absorbent and come with an extra insert, which is great for my super soaker.

I also have some of the hybrid's, which I was so sure was going to be my favorite diapers. Now I'm not so sure. They are basically a shell with a snap in insert. You can switch inserts in the shell, essentially creating the need for less actual diapers. My problem is I'm not sure the insert is enough absorbency for my toddler. Plus, the diaper shell would get wet with pee, which automatically made me think it's done for. But now I'm reading just to let the shell air out and use another shell and switch between them. But...won't they smell like pee? Maybe I'm over thinking this!



Thirsties Duo Diaper - Love these! They have a microfiber insert that snaps together with a hemp/cotton insert which is awesome. Super absorbent. They also have those fancy leg gussets you can see in the picture, which is great for catching those poo-splosions (I'm hoping especially for that newborn poo!). I love the velcro for a squirmy toddler, but they also have snaps which is better for us because our kid loves to be naked. And pee everywhere.

BumGenius One Size - I really like these because they just seem really durable. The material is great and it fits super trim, which I love. Don't get me wrong, a fluffy butt is cute, but it's nice when Punkin can fit into his jeans without looking like he has some serious junk in the trunk. I've been using these for night time with both inserts and a prefold for extra measure, and was ecstatic about not having leaks. Unfortunately, he soaked through one just the other night. I'm thinking we need to try and limit fluid intake before bed. I swear he pees a gallon in his sleep.

So! We have a good stash (although I have to keep myself browsing for more. I mean, you can't have too many, right?!) and I'm now able to do laundry every other day, which is fabulous. Doing it every night was so daunting and I couldn't help wondering if the cost of not using disposables was being replaced in our utility bill (it wasn't).

I'm sure once baby girl gets here (16 DAYS!) I'll have more to say on cloth diapering a new born. Until then, does anyone have suggestions on slowly introducing potty training to a 2 year old? He's definitely interested and he knows you're supposed to go pee pee and poopee on the potty, but I'm not sure if I should push it any further or let him figure it out. Suggestions?